From a 49ers-centric perspective, the right team won tonight. And not just because they defeated this generation’s Dan Marino (more on that later). Ronnie Lott served as the Saints’ motivational speaker before the NFC Championship. Sean Payton played the role of bellhop as his team arrived at their Miami hotel, the same prank Bill Walsh played on his first Championship team in January of 1982. Payton even told reporters on media day that he doesn’t just plagiarize from Walsh, he steals directly from his playbook. Although I don’t ever remember Walsh going...

You can have Anna Kournikova, I’ve always been a Martina Hingis fan. It’s not that I have a thing for big foreheads — Tyra Banks is my least favorite non-criminal in the world. I don’t know if it was because I’ve always been a brunettes-over-blondes guy, Hingis’ slightly bratty personality or the fact that she was an incredible tennis player for a few years, but I always had a soft spot for the Swiss miss with the crazy mom. Now Hingis is coming back. Sort of. She’s playing World TeamTennis, which apparently is a semi-pro league run...

A couple days ago, David commented on the Ray Allen/Amare Stoudemire/Monta Ellis post that perhaps the RZA could take over as head coach of the Warriors, which led to a thread of Wu-related pontifications that pretty much made my day (hey, I’m easy). As the comments spilled into the keyboard, it was like I had a whole “Wu-Tang Warriors” organizational structure in place in my head. Only instead of Rob Rowell and Raymond Ritter, I had the RZA and Raekwon. I definitely had Wu on the brain for some reason. Then yesterday I went a step further. SGL and I walked...

Trade Monta Ellis and Vlad Radmanovic for Ray Allen. Trade the entire team besides Anthony Randolph, Stephen Curry and next year’s first round pick for Tracy McGrady. See if we care. Remember “We Believe”? Now, it’s “We Hope.” We hope that when Larry Ellison finally admitted his Warrior-lust today in a press conference held to announce his company Oracle’s takeover of the Phoenix Suns. Apparently Ellison plans to take over the entire Pacific Division one by one, with a rude buyout of the Maloof brothers planned in two years, after… Oh...

I’ll say this for Billy Beane: nobody in the last decade has cornered the market on ridiculously talented pitchers that may or may not be made of low-grade porcelain. Rich Harden, Justin Dukesherhcherchrrer and now Billy Beane has signed Ben Sheets to a 1-year deal worth $10M+. As long as Sheets stays healthy up until the trade deadline, this is a no-lose proposition for the A’s. Beane could just as easily grab a few prospects for Sheets if the Athletics are out of the AL West race in July, and the A’s would also be off the hook for the remaining $4-$5 million...

In one of my many “the Warriors should get something for Monta Ellis while they can” posts I’ve written over the last six months, I threw out the idea that the Warriors should call Danny Ainge and see if they could unload Monta’s and Maggette’s contracts for Ray Allen’s expiring deal. You know, because back then I lived in a fantasy world where the Warriors could actually lure a free agent star who’s better than anybody they have right now. And on the moon orbiting my fantasy world, Chris Cohan would spend the money on a superstar free...

The Warriors can’t win for losing…players. Every game it’s another guy grabbing his ankle and hobbling off the floor, and last night it was the ironman. Monta Ellis hurt his “other” ankle this time, so at least we know the guy will finally enjoy some physical symmetry. Because as everyone knows, two hurt ankles equals one healthy one. Or something. At least that means Ellis won’t have to play every second of every game for at least a couple days, because it’s impossible for Don Nelson to overuse players who aren’t at the game....

I have no doubt that the NFL could absolutely flatten me if they wanted to. Squash me like a bug. If they decided that this BayAreaSportsGuy.com was detrimental to their business model, I’d suddenly turn on my computer to find that BASG no longer existed, like Google in China. What does that little bit of big brotherism have to do with anything? Well, not much, unless you’re a betting man. I’m not much of a bettor unless you count fantasy sports, but I am about to put my rep on the line with some NFC/AFC Championship predictions. Usually when I’ve done...

Frustration levels surrounding the Golden State Warriors in their home region have never been higher. Just check out what people are saying about Stephen Curry. Chris Cohan (the fake one, not the real one) refers to Curry as “GQ” and constantly points to statistical evidence which paints Curry in a bad light compared to the rest of the league’s rookie point guards. His contention is that Curry isn’t even a point guard at all, and GoldenStateWorriers believes that Don Nelson feels this way too — that Monta Ellis is actually the Warriors’ point...

Watching Corey Maggette over the last month brings to mind the funniest story ever created by The Onion’s sports section. I can’t go into the specifics here… Wait, yes I can. My censor is me, and it’s 11 pm after another Warrior loss that will serve as another excuse-provider for Bob Fitzgerald tomorrow. All bets are off. To summarize The Onion’s masterpiece, Tracy McGrady was caught by teammates pleasuring himself while watching tape of his own 41-point performance. And when Maggette is all by himself, and he gets a generous amount of personal...