Man, this year’s ESPYs* is a weird-ass show. Drake (this year’s host) made a joke about Johnny Manziel watching the show on mushrooms before blowing in Lance Stephenson’s ear. Then Drake and Stephenson blew into Paul George’s ears.
Drake and Blake Griffin had a pretty funny bit where they were supposedly feuding, although I’m not sure the Chris Brown cameo was necessary.
Oh man, that R&B singer with the crazy eyes is so SCARY! That’s hilarious, because he punches women in the face! LMAAAAAOOOOO
Richard Sherman won the ESPY for best Breakthrough Athlete — the same award Colin Kaepernick won a year ago — even though Sherman was just as good if not better in 2012. But this is just a stupid TV show, like most award shows, and ESPN chose Sherman because 1) they hoped he’d say something crazy and 2) they figured it’d be fun to show Kaepernick in the audience during his acceptance speech.
Sherman didn’t really say anything (besides asking Floyd Mayweather, the other woman-beater ESPN felt like celebrating tonight, for a follow). That didn’t stop Kaepernick from staring him down like a guy who wanted to pretend this was The 2000 Source Awards and rush the stage.
A little while later, Drake started singing about athletes who earned “Honorable Mention,” (translation: fell short of winning championships) like Kevin Durant, Danica Patrick and … Kaepernick. However, instead of ripping Kaepernick, Drake took a factually incorrect shot at Michael Crabtree.
“Colin Kaepernick, you know I love to see you flex. It’s just a damn shame that Michael Crabtree can’t catch.”
Kaepernick laughed it off, because that’s what you do when you get roasted and everyone’s watching.
No reaction from Crabtree on social media; he posted a photo of himself in workout gear with no caption besides “247365 …” but that was about 10 minutes before Drake mentioned him.
In other news: football season needs to hurry up and get here, and Marshawn Lynch doesn’t have a whole lot in common with Russell Wilson besides the team they play for.
— SB Nation (@SBNation) July 17, 2014
*I recently injured my foot, an overuse injury due to walking too much around the city in worn-out sneakers. That’s my excuse for watching the ESPYs, because otherwise I’d be taking a walk or donating some clothes to Goodwill or something.