Brian Sabean

All I Need is a Pharrell Beat and Some Cornrows

(Uh ohhhhhh!)
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh
It ain’t my fault
(Did I do that)
It ain’t my fault
(Did I do that)
It ain’t my fault
(Did I do that)

Why am I doing my best Mystikal impersonation right now? Cause I just hopped on BART after hearing that Noah Lowry does not, I repeat, DOES NOT have a case of the Ankiels.

Why am I doing my best Mystikal impersonation right now? Cause I just hopped on BART after hearing that Noah Lowry does not, I repeat, DOES NOT have a case of the Ankiels.

So the Worst-Case Scenario curse can be forgotten now, before it ever really began. Thank God for that, because all my Giant fan friends would have killed me, kind of like how we treat our buddy Sean whenever he picks Giants for his fantasy team. (Side note: Sean’s fantasy Giant destruction tour has been lethal for years. He took Richie Aurilia the year after he hit 35 bombs, Jason Schmidt immediately before he became “The injury-prone Jason Schmidt,” and many other Giants who sunk like a stone under his fantasy tutelage. Who had Matt Cain last season? Yep. We really should make a rule before this year’s draft.)

So now that I’ve sidestepped the blame for Lowry’s troubles, here’s the bad news: Lowry’s MRI showed something called exertional compartment syndrome in his forearm, leading to what Bruce Bochy deemed a “minor” surgical procedure.

(Uh ohhhhhh!) I’m about as much of a doctor as I am a rapper (much less, actually), but since when is a minor surgical procedure done immediately? And if the surgery is so minor, wouldn’t rest be given at least a chance as a possible treatment? Remember, this is a guy who pitched fantastically in the first half of last season, then had to miss the final month of 2007 due to forearm tightness, which may have been caused by this strange injury. Bochy said he’d hopefully be back by late April, which means they’re estimating at least a six-week recovery time.

There’s a lot of ambiguity here, which makes one wonder if Lowry could be out until the All-Star break, or even later. Like I said, my medical training consists primarily of watching the first three seasons of “ER.” Just don’t be surprised if Lowry is pretty much M.I.A. the first half of this season. What does it all mean? First, it means no trades on starting pitching. Lowry was the only young pitcher on the Giants not named Cain or Lincecum who would possibly net a starting position player worth anything in a trade, except maybe Madison Bumgarner and Tim Alderson, their top two draft choices from last year. So unless there’s a major surprise, there will be no Joe Crede for the Giants this year at third base.

Second, Kevin Correia can breathe easy, while Jonathan Sanchez better start throwing some long toss. Sanchez has the best chance at claiming the fifth starter role for now, unless Brian Sabean panics and picks up an old goat to throw five mediocre innings every fifth or sixth day (Could be anyone from Jose Lima to Russ Ortiz, hell even John Burkett could get a look…if Sabean makes a move like this, you know Lowry’s injury is bad). And finally, it shows that the Giants are not going to get many breaks this year. Their starting pitching was the only above-average segment of this team going into Spring Training, and they just lost their winningest pitcher from last season. If there’s any year to play all the young guys, no matter the result, this is the year.

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