It’s been a weird week for athletes that dare to set foot in Las Vegas. Although it happened in January, Chad Gaudin’s misdeeds in Desert Springs Hospital surfaced Wednesday and sufficiently creeped everybody out. Now it’s former Warriors’ guard Baron Davis who is in the news for some Vegas misadventures.
Davis was on The Champs Podcast with former “Chappelle’s Show” co-creator Neal Brennan and comedian Moshe Kasher this week. The interview started out routinely, but got weird very quickly when the NBA star told Brennan and Kasher he was abducted by aliens.
Here’s a transcript of the conversation, with several expletives removed. You can listen to the unedited version here:
Davis: “I was actually abducted by aliens two weeks ago.”
— “Tell us about that.”
Davis: “I was on my way from Vegas here to LA and I’m driving, you know like the windy road when you’re coming in, it’s like a crazy slant, so I’m a little tired … and I see this light and I think it’s a big … truck … and I was just driving, driving and next thing you know, I was in this … steel thing and these crazy looking people, like, half-human, half-ugly …”
— “We don’t know if you’re being serious or not.”
Davis: “They were poking me on my nose … and they were like looking me in my eyes. They had my hands tied up, and next thing you know I was … in Montebello, burning rubber on the way back to LA. It was like four o’clock in the morning.”
— “Did that actually happen?”
— “Wait a minute, are you being for real?”
Davis: “Yeah, hell yeah dude!”
— “So did you stop your car?”
Davis: “Man, to be honest, I don’t even know. I just got off on the next exit, it was an In-n-Out and I just ate, like, two In-n-Out Burgers … I had the shakes, I was like what … just happened.”
— “You had ‘the shakes’ or you had a shake?”
Davis: “I had ‘the shakes.’ I was shaking. I had the shakes. I had a shake. A strawberry shake. But I got out the car and I was like ‘damn, dawg, did I just … fall asleep?'”
— “So you’re driving, you see a light, next thing you remember…”
Davis: “I see a light, and I think it’s like a big truck, right? So I’m driving to a light, and it’s like red, and it’s like white, and it’s like bright, and I’m slowing down thinking it’s like traffic and next thing I know I’m like … and all I remember is someone … tapping my nose and like, raising my arm…”
— “What do you think happened, do you think you got abducted?”
Davis: “I don’t think it was an abduction, dude. I think that they were like… because now, I come back and I’m sharper … and I’m retaining information.”
I always sensed Davis was a strange dude (especially when I saw this picture of him), but this is … something else. I’m not sure if he’s joking or not, but he also claimed to have a book coming out about the abduction, so we’ll certainly stay tuned for that.