Something amazing happened to the Internet last Wednesday, November 14.

Brandon Belt joined Twitter. And we as Giants fans were never the same.

Being a THE Brandon Belt enthusiast (self-proclaimed title), I have actually spent a lot of time wondering what would happen if he joined Twitter. Would he be like Pablo or Sergio – basically re-tweeting everything in sight? Or would he be more Buster Posey/Jeremy Affeldt-esque – only tweeting when there is something important to say (I love those guys but BOR-ING!)?

Lucky for us, he was his typical normal self. Which means he was honest, unbearably awkward, and totally uncensored. Of course, he messed up his first tweet:

In Belt’s first week on Twitter he managed to grab 17,550 followers and put out 230 tweets. TWO HUNDRED AND THIRTY. That means in 7 days, he’s tweeted an average of 32 times a day.

I know it’s the holiday season and with the sheer volume of tweets, you may have missed one or two along the way. Never fear – I have selflessly combed through his timeline to pick out the best and most important highlights from our lovable Awkward Giraffe’s debut week on the Internet (in no particular order):

He Turkey Taps his friends on the regular:

Might want to cut that out, or they MAY not be your friends moving forward. I don’t know though. Let’s ask Aubrey Huff.

Can we get Matt Cain on Twitter?

Out of Context Brandon Belt could be awesome:

He has old school taste in TV:

He’s a liar:

Posted after his first night on Twitter..

LIES! Did not calm down. Never happened. Not that I’m complaining.

Exactly where to stalk him if needed:

In Scottsdale:

In Stonestown:

 

In San Francisco:


In Austin:

Why he ignores you after the end of an inning:

 His taste is music is similar to a 13-year-old girl:

He’s got a unique heritage:

He gets into it with his fellow baseball players:

Like Gary Brown:

Or Tommy Joseph (Props to our young prospect for this one):

Or Brandon Crawford:

OHHH Burn. Lovin’ Sassy Postseason Crawford.

He MAY not have the best taste in food:

He’s awkward on a daily basis:

And he’s not sorry about it:

He has mastered the art of general awesomeness on Twitter when it comes to responding to fans:

He apparently hates shopping.. and doesn’t care who knows it (including his wife):

What to buy him for Xmas this year:

He enjoys Twilight … and is Team Edward

Well, George Kontos disagrees, but Brandon Belt has a theory:

Although, it seems like he’s coming around to the whole “Team Jacob” thing after seeing Breaking Dawn:

Or maybe not:

But at least we know he has a good sense of humor. I found this out when I sent him and George Kontos this picture and they re-tweeted it:

Well, I think we all learned a lot about Young Brandon Belt this week. And I hope it never stops.

On this Thanksgiving weekend, how could “Brandon Belt joining Twitter” not be on the list along with “Freedom” and “Turkey!” of the list of things we’re thankful for?