Andris Biedrins

Cha, stoney quality start brah!

One of the main cliches of the past couple decades has been that 80% of NBA players are stoners. Could be true. Wouldn’t really surprise any of us, I’d imagine. But this Tim Lincecum should shed light on the group of athletes who either rival or surpass Michael Beasley in toking terms:

Barry Zito stonerMLB Starting Pitchers.

What’s the general idea on NBA players? They have a bunch of money, free time, and love to get loaded and play X-Box. Entire books have been written on this. Well, chapters, anyway… speaking of that, somebody really needs to write the definitive “Jail Blazers” book.

Who has more spare time than starting pitchers? Think about Barry Zito for a second. He has an incredible amount of money and LOVES to tell other people about the waves they surfed and the songs they sang, even though most of the people listening to these ramblings on love and zen could really give a shit.

Zeets probably gets bored having to sit in the dugout and watch all those games he isn’t pitching in, when you just have to sit in the dugout, chill and pass the time.

Lincecum probably gets bored too. So does Bronson Arroyo. Cole Hamels. Vicente Padilla. Papa Dubs (Not a starter, but c’mon. He calls himself Papa Dubs. He’s either a Major League closer or the lead singer of a Sublime cover band). Jared Weaver. Pedro Martinez. Jamie Moyer.

For every Mark Madsen in the NBA there’s probably a Matt Cain on a pitching staff, the guy who’s happy just making money on E-Bay and sneaking the occasional chew in. The majority of MLB starters? There’s more guys like Ricky Davis and Josh Howard than you may think.

Lincecum got off on a paraphernalia and speeding charge, with the drug charges dropped, within a week of the incident. Sounds like somebody has a real good lawyer.

— I don’t know if anything is making me happier right now than these clips of Elizabeth Lambert, the woman on the University of New Mexico soccer team who got caught just ASSAULTING her BYU opponents. We’re talking hair pulling to the ground, punches in the back, hilarious.

— The Charlotte Bobcats are reportedly interested in Stephen Jackson, and the Warriors could possibly get Boris Diaw in return. Not sure I believe this, but if there’s an ounce of truth to it, Don Nelson should get it done immediately. Now. Do it. Do it. Do it.

— We shouldn’t be surprised that Nellie’s master plan is now to play Ant Randolph at center nearly exclusively. Doesn’t anybody remember that Ronny Turiaf was a power forward, not just in Los Angeles but at Gonzaga? And now we all act as if Turiaf is a 7-footer when he’s no taller than Diaw.

— Why should we be interested in Randolph’s new position change? Because it means that either Turiaf or Andris Biedrins can be classified as trade bait. Hopefully for the Warriors they trade Andris while he still has value, before his ankle injuries become chronic and other teams realize he can’t defend many frontcourt players in the league one-on-one.

— I still think the Cavs (who lost to the Bulls at home last night on a good no-call at the buzzer on a failed LeBron drive) are going to get desperate and eventually give up something for Jackson. Plus, if Jack gets word he’s going to Charlotte he’ll undoubtedly throw a major fit.

— I’m watching SportsCenter right now — why does LeBron think it’s cool to look like Steve Urquell matched with Tim Lincecum? Right now he’s wearing a grey/black plaid shirt with a skinny black tie, thick-framed glasses (that should have had white tape around the bridge to complete the look) and a black beanie pulled down over his ears. What would someone have to be on to think dressing like this was cool? Oh, wait…

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