I’m not huge on politics. One of my favorite sayings is that “I stick my head in the sand with sports.” I try not to concern myself with the partisan squabbles of our nation; meanwhile, I’m really worried about how Greg Roman is going to utilize an extra tight end to stop the Bears’ pass rush next Monday night. I spent more time thinking about how Bruce Bochy was going to manage the bullpen in Game 4 of the World Series than I did thinking about which presidential candidate would take Ohio’s electoral college votes.
Still, I enjoy election night in this country. I love competition, and the election is the ultimate form of it. One of the discussions that ensued on Twitter was which Bay Area sports figures would win an election with people like us doing the voting.
So let’s ask the faithful BASG readers: who do you think should run Bay Area sports? I’ll select four different offices: President/Vice President, Governor, Secretary of Defense and Speaker of the House. We’ll put it to a vote on the comments — You can comment as many times as you want, but only one vote per person. I’ll tally them up and announce our Bay Area government in a few days.
This is a candidate who has a way with words. He should be able to motivate, entertain and move people when he speaks. That’s not to say that he’s all talk and no action, but this guy should be able to rabble-rouse a crowd to get pissed off for greatness. Your choices are:
— Sergio Romo: He’s highly entertaining, but probably not so motivational.
— Patrick Willis: He may not have you laughing, but he’ll have you running through walls.
— Hunter Pence: His speeches may get a little awkward, but if they get the job done that’s all that really matters, right?
— The Ghost of Mike Singletary: He’ll pull his pants down for everybody to prove a point. He also utilizes film study to properly work the room.
Secretary of Defense
The Secretary of Defense should be the best defender that we’ve got around here. Enemies are constantly trying to assault our sovereign nation, and this guy is the stopper. He will make sure that nothing gets past him, no ball carrier runs through him and no one ever scores. That being said, I left Antti Niemi and all of the Raiders off the list:
— Gregor Blanco: Blanco could have won MVP of the World Series for his defense alone. I know he’s got Matt Cain’s vote.
— Justin Smith: People will be upset that Patrick Willis isn’t on this list, but he can’t run for two different offices in the same election. Besides, Willis will be free to do all the speaking he wants with Smith wrecking shop in front of him.
— Josh Reddick: I have to get some Oakland A’s love on here, and Reddick is the guy for this position. Remember the Spider Man catch? He’ll be doing that, except instead of catching home run balls he’ll be thwarting terrorist attacks.
— Brandon Crawford: He’s got the gorgeous locks and a flawless glove to go with it. He’s been dominating the infield since 2011 and I bet he’ll be dominating the female vote here.
This is going to go to the best decision-maker in the Bay Area. The man who is elected will be spending the next four years deciding who to draft, how to work the batting order, what moves to make in free agency and how our teams will be built, not just for today, but for the future.
— Trent Baalke: He found gems in Aldon Smith and Kendall Hunter. He waited out Carlos Rogers, Jonathan Goodwin and Donte Whitner. He took calculated risks in AJ Jenkins and LaMichael James. Most importantly, though, he landed Jim Harbaugh.
— Bruce Bochy: Honorable mention goes to Brian Sabean here, but Bochy is arguably the best decision-maker in the Giants’ organization. Boch won’t let anything get past him, from a promising righty-lefty split to a second trip to the mound.
— Bob Myers: His sample size is small when it comes to personnel moves, but so far he’s brought promise to a franchise that has been lacking in that department since 2007. An added bonus with Myers — he’s got Jerry West influencing his decisions.
— Billy Beane: It took a while, but Beane found a way to make the A’s relevant again. The Athletics are a team brimming with young talent, and it wouldn’t be that way without their general manager.
Now for what you’ve all been waiting for. This office goes to the most popular guys in Bay Area sports. These are the men that carry this town, which means that much like the real election, it really boils down to two parties:
— Buster Posey/Matt Cain: Posey may have the advantage because the “Posey for President” campaign has already been going strong for a couple months. These two men are heroes in the Bay Area and they’ve captivated the city twice in three years.
— Jim Harbaugh/Alex Smith: Regardless of how you feel about Smith, there’s no denying the change that San Francisco has seen under Harbaugh’s tenure. He’s taken a team devastated by poor coaching for a decade and returned them to the steps of a championship. It looks like he’s on his way to doing it again in 2012.