Barry Zito

Elijah Dukes is easily rattled

giants-nationals-gameToday proved once again that no matter how hot the home team is, it’s hard to pull off a series sweep against even the weakest of opponents. It was a fun time today at Mays Field, as the centerfield bleachers proved once again to be one of the best places to watch a game, especially if you’re in the third row with a fence behind your seat to rest your back on.

Another fine part of sitting just beyond the outfield wall is the ability to rag on the opposing centerfielder, and who better to antagonize than the absolutely insane Elijah Dukes? After the guy in front of us (who looked disturbingly like Jack Black) yelled all kinds of generic “you suck” type insults to Dukes, my buddy Jake started digging for dirt via his Internetz-ready phone. Apparently not only did Dukes attempt to bean a girlfriend with a Gatorade bottle (the flavor wasn’t listed, but I’m guessing either Mango or one of the A.M. flavors), but his dad was found guilty of second degree murder after killing a guy he suspected of giving Elijah’s mom some bad crack.

elijah-dukes-hand-gestureNobody “went there” in trying to heckle Dukes (as we all feared some sort of Ron Artest scenario, as well as getting thrown out of the game by the overbearing usher in our section), as all of us settled on more genteel insults (“Hey Dukes, you’re a good baseball player, but you’re a terrible person!”), which still resulted in Dukes giving our section the universal “I’m jacking off” hand gesture. Classy and professional, that’s Elijah Dukes. Dukes’ constant overreactions to our heckling were pretty much all the satisfaction we got this afternoon at the hands of the Nationals (along with Ryan Zimmerman’s hit-streak ending at 30 games at the hands of birthday-boy Barry Zito, who took the loss but pitched well enough to deserve at least a no-decision).

The Nats salvaged their time in San Francisco with a 6-3 victory, thanks to the Giants’ inability to hit off former farmhand Shairon Martis and also the Giants’ stubborn refusal to admit that Patrick Misch is not a Major League pitcher.

Misch gave up 2 runs in the top of the 9th inning, which wouldn’t have looked quite as bad had the Giants not scored 2 runs in the bottom of the inning in their attempts to rally off journeyman Kip Wells. Not quite sure why Bruce Bochy didn’t warm anybody up during Misch’s B.P. session, maybe the Giants are just happy going 7-0-2 in their last 9 series.

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