Duke Blue Devils

Fix yo bracket, fool!!!

Before I get started, I have to remind you to sign up for the 2nd-annual BASG March Madness NCAA Basketball Tournament Pool. Or to shorten it up a little, “Chocolate Brackets.” Because, you see, the BASG Pool isn’t just FREE (Did you catch that? Free? As in: NO BUY-IN, NO ANTE, ALL CHEAPSKATES REJOICE), but you have the opportunity to win a batch of scrumdiddliumptious chocolate chip cookies made by SGL and a box of gourmet truffles (salted caramel, people) from SGL’s coworkers Katherine and Cathy (and yes, Liz’s coworkers’ names reminded me of this).

I hate the word “random,” so let’s call this “unrelated thoughts,” shall we?

– Stephen Curry’s ball-fake on Shannon Brown last night was perhaps the most entertaining thing I’ve seen all season from a Golden State Warrior. Even made Kobe lean over to the soon-to-be-in-Europe Adam Morrison and said, “Motherf—–‘s got moves.” At least that’s what it looked like, anyway.

– As my buddy Carp texted to me last night, “I think Monta’s hearing footsteps.”

– After watching the Magic/Bird show on HBO (excellent of course, like we’d expect anything else), something about March Madness suddenly became clear: the same people who hate Duke today would have absolutely HATED the Boston Celtics of the 1980’s.

– Not surprised Tiger Woods is playing in The Masters. I knew he would from the moment I found out he wasn’t going to die from the epic car crash Ray Woodson breathlessly described the day after Thanksgiving. However, I figured Tiger would do one of those $3M-appearance-fee deals in Dubai or Thailand first, before playing in Augusta. Shows that either he’s really worried about what people think about him, or the economy has put a damper on multi-million dollar appearance fees. Or both.

– I put this up on Twitter this morning, or something similar anyway: if Tiger rolls it in on 18 to win at The Masters, Jim Nantz might say, “He may be a dog in the bedroom, but he’s still A TIGER IN AUGUSTA!!!!”

– I don’t think I’ve ever had a harder time filling out my bracket than this year. Picking Kansas to win it all is never a good idea unless Danny Manning is involved, and John Calipari’s teams “refuse to lose” all the way until the Final 4 when they start shooting free throws even worse than they read. I’m one of those guys who hates Duke (self-hating white people are extremely common, apparently), and the only way a team can win a title with Jim Boeheim at the helm is if they have an uber-star like Carmelo Anthony there to counteract Boeheim’s gloomy aura. So much for the top seeds…

– Here’s what usually represents my (uggh) bracketology (besides “blogosphere” there aren’t many worse words, in my opinion):

1. Go Pac-10 heavy (doesn’t quite work this year, but they’re usually overrated in football and underrated in basketball…this year they’re a huge conference without one skilled guy over 6’7″

2. Pick Michigan State to go far (I’m gay for Tom Izzo, like Steve Mariucci)

3. Study who did well in their last 10 games, and who has the best guard tandems (which didn’t help me AT ALL last season)

4. Do whatever Barack Obama does (OK, I didn’t do this last year, but we all should have…it’s actually a good thing to invite Andy Katz over to your house — who knew?)

Since none of those are good ideas, you know what I’m going to do this year? I’m going upset-city, baby! Oh yeah, I’m going to pick St. Mary’s to go all the way! Omar Samhan’s awesome, with a CAPITAL “A,” BABY!!!!

Ha. I am not going to tell you what I’m going to do. You’ll have to wait and see my bracket on Thursday like everyone else. No way I’m giving away the secrets that will lead me to a glorious orgy of cookies and truffles. And yes, I can win my own contest. When you start writing snarky comments about sports that are only slightly related to each other, then YOU can start your own pool and give away all the junk food you want.

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