You ever have people ask you sports questions that are impossible to answer? If I had a dollar for how many times my fiance walked into the living room, looked at the score and said, “What’s the matter with the Giants?” I’d have enough money to buy a 6-pack of PBR at AT&T Park (wow, I’m getting into Radnich territory in terms of repeating jokes … oh well).
Today for lunch I went into one of those corner store liquor store/delis that have sandwiches that run circles around the crap at Subway/Quizno’s. As the guy behind the counter was ringing me up for one “baseball special” (sandwich, chips and a can of soda for $7), he asks me, “What’s wrong with the Giants?”
I wasn’t wearing any Giants gear or a fedora with the word “PRESS” on it, so I guess he figured I’m a dude buying the baseball special a half-mile from the park, so I’d be down to talk about the Giants’ troubles. Smart guy, even though I didn’t have a smart answer. I told him this:
1. They can’t play teams in the NL West.
2. They aren’t that good on the road.
Yeah, that’s about it. And my answers didn’t really satisfy him, sort of like my response to the fiance’s questions of a similar nature, which usually consist of something like, “I don’t know, they aren’t playing well today.” That’s right, they don’t pay me the big bucks to NOT be an expert, am I right?
Since that deli trip and wracking my brain to figure out why the Giants sometimes don’t pitch that well, I can’t concentrate on work. Sooo much TV to watch this weekend. Let’s prepare…
1. Giants vs. A’s (all weekend): For the first time this season, the Coliseum may have 25,000 living, breathing people wandering around at the same time, wondering where the open concession stands are (hint: behind home plate on the first level, and that’s about it). Barry Zito goes tonight to fight media-created demons. Ray Fosse is getting ready to say “1989” between 10 and 258 times over the 3-game series, and at least once Rajai Davis will make every Giants fan make the same facial expression they do when they see that Fred Lewis just went 3-for-5 with a SB for the Blue Jays.
2. Sharks vs. Blackhawks (tonight and Sunday): My non-hockey-knowlege arse thinks the Sharks are going to roll into the United Center tonight and absolutely thrash the Hawks. Hockey playoff series don’t start until Game 5, and home ice means nada.
3. Celtics vs. Magic (Sat. night): 98% of me thinks this series is over, and we should plug in the Lakers/Celtics hype machine (that reminds me, the hype machine is low on dry ice). But for some reason, I can see a lethargic Celtics team that feels too comfortable to play defense, and Dwight Howard’s pride finally showing itself. If the Celtics feel like they can sleepwalk through their offensive sets because they’re at home, this series will last longer than the four games Paul Pierce thinks it will.
3. Suns vs. Lakers (Sun. night): 99% of me thinks this series is over, and what I said earlier… The 1% comes from the polar opposite of the effect going home might have for the Celts. The Lakers couldn’t be stopped on offense, but a big part of that was the home cookin’. Anybody expecting to see Jordan Farmar, Shannon Brown and Ron Artest raining open treys in Phoenix hasn’t watched this Lakers team very much this season. At home the Lakers are one of the best NBA teams in the last 10 years in terms of ball movement. On the road, it’s Kobe and Pau, Pau and Kobe. And not much else. We all know the Lakers can play defense well enough to smother the Suns. Will they feel the urgency to do so in Game 3 after such easy contests in the first two games? Not so sure.
4. BASG vs. Amy G. (ongoing): Yesterday I made a less-than-sensitive joke about Amy Gutierrez’s voice after Andrew Baggarly followed my on Twitter and unfollowed me the next day. Amy G. responded, and if I’m not mistaken this is the first time we’ve ever seen her publicly pissed off. At first I felt like I was in the right. After all, everyone from Gary Radnich to McCovey Chronicles moderators rips on Amy G. with impunity. Still, she had a point in her retwort to me. If I notice factual inaccuracies, a lack of knowledge or an excessive focus on topics that are a waste of time, I have a right to complain. Her voice is something she can’t change (and a lot of people probably like it, as I’m notoriously easy to annoy), and it’s not like my pipes rival Alec Baldwin’s. And yes, I am sufficiently embarrassed about this whole incident. Last year’s BASG would have punched me in the gut after finding out I was going to get in a Twitter fight with Amy G. (Update: apparently things are patched up between the BASG and Amy G. Carry on.)