Brandon Belt

Giants baseball: feigning surprise over consistent ineptitude

On Wednesday the fans lost it on Twitter. Again. Over the Giants’ lineup. Again. Because Bruce Bochy benched Brandon Belt and Brandon Crawford. Again. People have reached their collective breaking point over this team, which makes sense since this team’s chances of making the playoffs have crumbled like the last Butterfinger in a liquor store. Here are 10 things worth lamenting after Wednesday’s game and this season in general, and why we shouldn’t be the least bit surprised over any of them.

1. Matt Cain lost to the Padres despite giving up 2 runs in 7 innings.

Not surprising because: Cain isn’t pulling his weight at the plate. Only 1-for-2 with a measly single? Where are the dingerz? Dave Flemming’s been asking that queston for weeks now!!!

2. Arizona is going to win the NL West.

Not surprising because: the Giants have a worse run differential (-22) than the A’s (-21).

3. The D-Backs went 13-5 against the Rockies this year.

Not surprising because: the Rockies’ run differential is almost as bad (-17).

4. The umpiring was horrible on Wednesday, leading Jon Miller and Flemming to complain vociferously.

Not surprising because: this is a pretty common theme when the Giants are playing like bat guano.

5. The Giants only scored 1 run on Wednesday, the 32nd time this season they’ve scored 1 or fewer in a game.

Not surprising because: the Giants’ 2011 leader in runs scored is Pablo Sandoval, with 47.

6. Orlando Cabrera, starting shortstop.

Not surprising because: Cabrera went into Wednesday’s game with tantalizing career numbers (3-for-5 with two doubles) against Aaron Harang, and Bochy loves looking up some batter vs. pitcher stats … never mind that every one of those at-bats took place in 2003.

7. With the Giants down a run in the 8th inning, Cabrera dropped a pop fly.

Not surprising because: the Giants are usually down a run or more these days; Cabrera has played over 1,800 games at shortstop and should be selling insurance, investing in horrible business ideas, or whatever it is millionaire athletes do when they retire these days.

8. Belt, sitting on the bench.

Not surprising because: as Henry Schulman pointed out in a blog post about why Crawford and his lustrous mullet rarely get to sparkle under Major League lights anymore, “Bochy likes the way Cabrera puts the ball in play.” Belt doesn’t put the ball in play enough. In other words, Bochy gets bored easily during long at-bats and prefers when his hitters use the plate approach of a 12-year-old playing baseball on their Xbox or PS3.

9. Hector Sanchez, sitting on the bench.

Not surprising because: Eli Whiteside’s 10-for-68 with 1 double, 1 HR and 2 walks since July 22 — he was due!

10. Bochy seems to favor veteran players.

Not surprising because: the starting lineup for the 1998 San Diego Padres had an average age of 32.4. That was back when men were men, and acne on a player’s back was nature’s way of signaling when a gamer had so much veteran savvy, it couldn’t help but bubble up to the surface.

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