One down, only six to go. Sometimes a man needs to stake his reputation on a completely irrational prediction, and here’s mine: if the San Francisco Giants win seven of the thirteen games they play against the Colorado Rockies, they’ll finish ahead of the Rockies in the final standings.
Whether or not that means they’ll win the Wild Card is a whole other proposition, since we don’t know if the Cubs, Brewers, Astros, Braves or Mets will do anything crazy at the deadline. But they’ll at least finish ahead of the Rockies, who may be the most annoying team in baseball. All Giants fans hate the Dodgers the most (sports hate, but still), but the Rockies are still more annoying. Neifi Perez? Really? That’s why Larry Krueger flew off the handle. He wasn’t racist, he just couldn’t handle Neifi.
Because I’m pretty sure the Giants won’t do anything major at the deadline, at least after hearing that oddly soul-wrenching interview Brian Sabean did this afternoon with Ralph Barbieri (more on that later).
Tonight’s game was pretty much the epitome of Giants’ baseball in 2009, except they never had a legitimate “ground attack” inning. Matt Cain goes seven innings and only gives up a run, and somehow he looked even more dominant than that; Jeremy Affeldt tosses his standard scoreless inning and Brian Wilson scared the hell out of everybody for no reason. Atta babe!
Assorted thoughts, mostly so I can rip the Rockies’ mascot
— Brian Wilson looked really hung over today, according to Sports Girl Liz. Since Mike Krukow mentioned that the Giants “had trouble sleeping” last night, I’d tend to agree.
— With Fred Lewis going 3-for-3 with a walk and Nate Schierholtz hitting a solo homer, did anybody else think to themselves, “Disregarding salaries, doesn’t a CF platoon of Randy Winn and Aaron Rowand at least seem like an option for the rest of this season?”
— After listening to Sabean pretty much admit he can’t stand working for Bill Neukom (I can’t think of any scenario in which calling your boss more “corporate” than your previous boss could possibly be considered a positive assessment) today with Ralph, we know this: the Giants aren’t going to be taking on any large amounts of money in the next week. That doesn’t mean the Giants won’t try to pick up some type of hitter, it’s just one nobody’s talked about. Some right-handed, versatile player who hits a few homers and plays a decent 1B/3B or 1B/OF.
— You KNOW Sabez wants to trade Maddy Bum-Bum and Angel Villalona for Roy Halladay and Alex Rios. Just like you know Bengie Molina’s going to swing when the count’s 2-0.
— OK, I know that last note was ridiculous; we all know Bengie’s never taken the first two pitches of an at-bat this year. Lo Siento.
— Jeremy Affeldt has to be in the running for best set-up year in team history. Mike Jackson from 1994 is the only other season in the running right now. I can’t say enough about the guy.
— Actually, I’ll say a little more about Affeldt. Since he’s inducing more double plays than Dr. Huxtable induced births during the entire run of The Cosby Show, can you imagine how great Affeldt would have been when the Giants’ infield consisted of Will Clark, Robby Thompson, Matt Williams and Jose Uribe?
— Oh, and the Rockies’ mascot, that stupid freakin’ purple triceratops reject from The Land Before Time? Are you kidding? Why is that poor man’s Barney allowed to stand behind home plate and jump around in the ninth inning? Lou Seal’s only allowed on the dugout, and he jumps on the HOME DUGOUT!!! And he even gets down before any pitches are thrown in order not to piss off the season ticket holders in Section 122!!! What’s next, “Dinger” (that’s the dino’s name, and there’s also a mobile available if you have an infant in your life you’d like to traumatize) dancing on top of the Giants’ dugout until Juan Uribe gives him a hotfoot?