We’ve got about a half hour until the 49ers’ Tradition Unlike Any Other commences for the third straight year. That’s right, it’s time to watch Jed York address the media in a formal setting for the first time since he talked about the same stuff a year ago!
Stay tuned to see him …
- Vaguely explain why he fired people
- Deny any leaks to national reporters that obviously came from him
- Recite a few clever (in his own mind, anyway) reasons for us to believe that he’s learned from all of this and he’ll do whatever it takes to make the 49ers great again
To keep us entertained, we could play a drinking game. But it’s a little early on a Monday to consume mass quantities of alcohol (unless you’re Chip Kelly and you’re celebrating your massive payout and the chance to possibly join Bill Belichick’s staff for the playoffs and rehabilitate your image in a matter of weeks). And while we could play a drinking game using shots of espresso every time Jed says something predictably lame, that would lead to an army of people sprinting to Santa Clara and ripping the 49ers’ new(ish) stadium/office park apart, white steel girder by white steel girder.
Maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing. But I have a different idea. You know those Corporate Bullshit Bingo cards? The ones your coworkers like to print out before weekly meetings in the conference room? I created one that works for Jed York press conferences.
Update: I created another because some of my favorites were left off the first edition.
These press conferences, infuriating and patronizing as they are, also double as the highlight of the season ever since the Jed kicked Jim Harbaugh to the curb. Mutually, of course. So print one out and play! And if you feel like drinking, well, it’s tough to blame you. Just make sure you have the day off before you start downing Four Lokos with CSN Bay Area playing in the background.
@RP_Drivestream it was a great press conference once again. https://t.co/WoYnOtZevw
Lil Jed claimed in the presser to be consulting with the 49ers greats and businessmen ("a stone's throw away", per Ann Killion) and using them as resources etc.
I wonder if Joe and Steve and Brent and Ronnie et al would agree with that take. E.g. it wasn't that long ago that Steve Young was on Tolbert's show with a fairly long rant about the (poor) state of things; seems like that kind of outburst wouldn't happen if the President and de facto owner was regularly taking Steve's input.
@BASportsGuy I think I won the over on "reset"
@BASportsGuy this is STELLAR!!
@BASportsGuy This is hilarious!
@BASportsGuy "Championship Culture" is gonna send someone to the ICU....
@BASportsGuy my uncle! drink!
@BASportsGuy My uncle! Drink!
@BASportsGuy that's my favorite one, all while deflecting blame,not admitting his mistake,and lying that he doesn't make football decisions
@BASportsGuy The yearly Uncle Eddie reference to pacify the fan base
@BASportsGuy Hall of Fame coach. Drink???
@BASportsGuy "Culture" overload........ Game!
@BASportsGuy im drunk and its 10:26am
@BASportsGuy you have to think his uncle called him an idiot for letting harbaugh go.
@BASportsGuy "revisionist history" needs a square
@BASportsGuy I'm wasted already
@BASportsGuy how are you even able to type coherently w/ all the cliche drinks jeds offering?!
@BASportsGuy Reset! Drink!
@BASportsGuy York is just hammering "Championship Culture" again and again
@BASportsGuy Need that I am making an excuse Photo op.
@BASportsGuy ... With the most annoying hand gestures ever!
@BASportsGuy Didn't they just have a championship culture under Harbaugh?
@BASportsGuy love this Jed bull shit bingo card! \U0001f44d\U0001f44f\U0001f3fb
@BASportsGuy he's pretty much screwed on the pressure regardless, no?
@BASportsGuy Good chance for a cover-all win on either board.
@BASportsGuy need to add "talk to my uncle" and then never do it.
@NinersNation what would happen if he walked in & says "I now realize 3 yrs ago I should have fired Baalke instead of Harbaugh". Questions?
@NinersNation got a link that's mobile friendly to watch presser?
@BASportsGuy how about a square with "denies any question regarding Jim Harbaugh"
@BASportsGuy Was going to ask where is "My Uncle Eddie" then I saw the 2nd card. Well done.
@BASportsGuy love this. But you have one glaring omission Steve: 'my Uncle Eddie'
@BASportsGuy ah! I knew you couldn't have left it off. Have to ask -- were you given a credential to attend?
@BASportsGuy true. But I speak for many -- would love to have you in there to directly ask Jed some q's. You represent our voice!
@BASportsGuy u left out the predictable uncle Eddie comment
@BASportsGuy One square should be "My uncle Eddie"