Things you learn (or just think about without learning anything) when you’re unemployed watching basketball all day:

–My choice of Cal to beat Maryland was about as intelligent as when I placed $20 on a futures bet for the Falcons to win the Super Bowl a couple months ago. I can’t believe Mike Montgomery got such an untalented group into the Tourney in the first place; it just makes me wish he could have been there early enough to get anything out of the Leon Powe era.

–Does anyone else find it a little distasteful when college officials get emotionally involved when the team that has the crowd behind them makes a comeback? Every time there’s a charge or possession change to signal, the refs start stutter-stepping and throw their right arm forward like Freddie Mitchell/Brandon Lloyd/Cris Carter (take your pick) after a first down. Somewhere Dick Bavetta is nodding in approval.

–The Warriors could do worse than drafting Jrue Holiday, yet another example of an athlete with a phonetically-spelled name, a la Jeromy Burnitz. Even though his name can be described in politically incorrect terms by a word that rhymes with “he farted,” Holiday was the only guy who could get his own shot last night against VCU. And FYI, he isn’t brothers with Matt Holliday of the Oakland Athletics.

–That was awesome last night when Morgan State’s Ameer Ali did a pretty smooth Judo throw on Blake Griffin. Am I wrong, or does Griffin seem a little too pleased with himself with all those spandex muscle-t’s? He’s probably the only person who saw Alex Rodriguez kissing his own reflection and thought, “So what? Big whoop!”

–Yes, I like to think Griffin talks like Joy Behar…or at least Fred Armisen’s impersonation of her on SNL, anyway.

–I was gone when the A-Rod pics surfaced so forgive me for being late to the party, but here’s some advice to all athletes: if you don’t want to look gay, you might want to just avoid Details magazine all together. I got Details when it was Maxim before Maxim existed, but stopped renewing after I realized every cover seemed to be some uber-gay photo of Keanu Reeves, Matthew McConaughey or Ewan McGregor and every article about topics such as male manicures and cruising locker rooms.

–Case in point: one of the headlines on the cover of the A-Rod Details reads “THE CURIOUS CASE OF THE GAY-PORN-STAR IDENTICAL TWINS.”

–No. 1 in this week’s douchebag power rankings: John Corbett for his Applebee’s commercials. “One app, one entree, 20 bucks…It’s a whole new neighborhood!” Man, what a cool guy, he just seems soooooo laid back. I wish we could just hang out together and toss the ol’ Frisbee, maybe kick the hacky-sack around.

–So far CBS has given the West Coast far too little Bill Raftery. When I listen to Damon Bruce, Raftery’s “SEND IT IN JEROME” sounds like the only KNBR drop that will never get old. Well, besides “Take a Giant Step and go” and “RAY DURHAM WAS AT MOMO’S!!!!!!”

–Anybody else wonder how college kids (who supposedly aren’t supposed to get paid under the table or even hold part-time jobs) have so much money to spend on tattoos? It’s really curious how the best players on the higher profile teams seem to have the most extra money to spend on inking themselves up, too. I guess that will just remain an unsolved mystery, like how Reggie Bush was able to afford that house for his family while playing tailback for at USC.

–Right now Pittsburgh is only ahead 45-42 over East Tennessee State with 10:22 remaining. That’s right, go…um…(searching Google)…Buccaneers!!!