Are you stuck at work? Are you excited about Game 1, while living in fear that a poor performance by Matt Cain tonight could lead to a tidal wave of momentum that leads to the Rangers winning the World Series in five games amongst a cavalcade of antler gestures and copenhagen-spitters getting all judgmental over the marijuana ingestion of San Francisco liberals?

Yeah, me neither.

But if you happen to have a little spare time in front of a computer, here’s some Giants and Rangers info that you will find extremely useful. Even if you can’t read because you’re actually part deer.

– Is this the first time a beard has been called the “Hot Slut of the Day”? Love this part: “Brian looks like he chomps down mighty redwoods with his teeth and makes mama bears hand over her young at first sight of his beard.” (dlisted)

– Am I the only one with “Black and orange, black and orange, black and orange, black and orange” in my head? (YouTube)

– A well-written love letter to the San Francisco Giants that mentions the “artisan grilled cheese store” that’s actually catering our wedding. Great points on how hipster-ish it is to get mad at bandwagon fans. (Rocket Shoes)

– So who is C.J. Wilson, anyway? He’s a straight-edge guy with some pretty funny musings on Twitter. He’s a lefty who threw 204 innings in his first full season as a starter. And so far in the playoffs he’s walked 8 guys and given up 3 homers in 18 1/3 innings. The following passage was written before he gave up a HR to Robinson Cano in Game 2 against the Yankees: “He was especially tough on lefties, holing them to a .144/.224/.176 line — that’s just five extra base hits, all doubles, out of the 171 lefties he faced.” Cano’s awesome, but is Wilson finally vulnerable against lefties … lefties like Aubrey Huff, perhaps? (Fangraphs)

– Giants lineup unchanged, Rangers lineup has no Vlad, no Bengie. (Baggs)

– I’m totally sponsoring the next time Pablo Sandoval gets winded. (Atom)

– I’m only linking to this oft-reported story about the medical marijuana dispensary in San Francisco that plans on giving out free joints when the Giants hit homers because it’s the latest email I’ve gotten from some PR person (I’m guessing) named “Nicki Fertile.” I wonder if she’s the same woman from those First Response commercials? (TMZ)