Al Davis

Maybe God isn’t on the Raiders’ side, but they have Carson Palmer

Last night, I lost sleep because of God.

More accurately, I lost sleep because of Jesus.

The Raiders lost to the Broncos because of a guy who thinks he’s the savior of Denver, and name drops the Holy Fella more than Benny Hinn. He also shamelessly promotes his faith to the point that the NFL had to reinforce its rule against writing on eye black.

Tebow caused huge spikes in Google traffic on specific bible tracts because of the messages he wrote on his eye black.

And although they have a 24-7 lead over the Vikings in the second quarter, the Raiders are still playing a team with a Purple Jesus. If they lose, or Adrian Peterson has a huge game, I will be fully convinced that there are holy forces at work during NFL games.

And they are working against the Raiders.

I used to believe that once Al Davis died, the Raiders would win a Super Bowl within two seasons. I wish I could say it’s going to happen this season.

But God’s too busy working miracles for Tim Tebow in Denver. How else could you explain an NFL team winning while only completing TWO PASSES?

That’s a miracle, friends … of the kind the Raiders can’t seem to catch.

What will be a miracle is if they continue playing like they did last week against San Diego, which is to say with a minimum number of penalties.

But my mind keeps wandering back to Purple Jesus.

It’s almost uncanny. There’s no reason why the Raiders should’ve lost to the Broncos … but Al made a deal with the Devil and Tebow made his deal with God, apparently.

Here’s to hoping the Raiders practice a little Santeria in the bowels of the Metrodome … and beat the Vikings.

Maybe God isn’t on our side, but Carson Palmer is.

He destroyed the Vikings in the first half, and maybe it’s not just because he’s a talented guy who’s resurrecting his career in Oakland. Did you ever notice that there are 6 letters in both “Carson” and “Palmer”?? Did you also notice that Palmer’s middle name is a great mystery that you can’t solve through repeated internet searches?

But if you refer to him as “Raider Carson Palmer,” it equals … 6-6-6. Same with “Bengal Carson Palmer” and “Trojan Carson Palmer.”

That’s right, Carson Palmer is the Devil.

On the play where he suffered the knee injury that tore two ligaments, he completed a 66 yard pass to Chris Henry (who later died in a freak accident). Henry wore jersey number 15. 1+5=6. Once again, 666.

Today’s game between the Raiders and the Vikings is really a game between God and the devil. And somewhere, probably in the midwest, there is a fringe lunatic who is going to take this seriously. His name may or may not be Fred Phelps, who just ordered the creation of 20 or 30 “GOD HATES OAKLAND RAIDERS” signs.

The Raiders Sports Guy, Francis Mayer, has extensive experience in radio as a producer in Bakersfield, as a former morning show host at 106.1 KRAB and now producing a local morning news show. He and BASG played on the same Babe Ruth baseball team as 13-year-olds, and Francis still talks about that time he struck out the side in his only pitching appearance of the season. He’s also a fan of the Oakland Raiders and Minnesota Twins, a strange pairing of teams that’s never been fully explained.

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