“Barack Obama is a known ex-smoker, and he was able to debate for a solid hour and a half in a woolen suit under lights that were way too bright, way too hot, and didn’t lose his breath once,†said McCain. “I demand a piss test.†When pressed which drugs Obama could be on to help keep his breath, McCain gave no comment. It’s been leaked to Bayareasportsguy.com that the drugs McCain’s campaign want to test Obama for are EPO, HGH, Winstrol, Testosterone and Angeldust. One of the issues McCain had during the debate, which occurred at less than 600 feet above sea level, was a matter of oxygen. This was evident in McCain’s first response “Well, thank you, Tom (pause). Thank you, Belmont University (cough). And Sen. Obama, it’s good to be with you at a town hall meeting (wheeze). “And, Alan, thank you for your question……………You go to the heart of America’s worries tonight. Can somebody turn the heat off? The heat! Off! Americans are angry, they’re upset, and they’re a little fearful (hack). It’s our job to fix the problem. “Now, I have a plan to fix this problem and it has got to do with energy independence (huge phlegm cough). We’ve got to stop sending $700 billion a year to countries that don’t want us very — like us very much. Seriously, is there Oxygen in this building? I feel like I’m drowning in my own lungs here! We have to keep Americans’ taxes low (gasp). All Americans’ taxes low. Let’s not raise taxes on anybody today (panting forcefully).†When reached for comment, Obama seemed perplexed. “Wait, you mean they want to drug test me because I was able to walk and talk at the same time? Seriously, I feel like I’m golfing on the Champions Tour,†Obama said. Bill O’Reilly and Sean Hannity seized on the drug testing issue in the hours following the debate. “I’m not saying anything racially here, but Barry Bonds is a free man right now, even though Hank Aaron’s home run record was stolen,†O’Reilly said. “It’s time for accountability in American politics, and the lack of drug testing before and after debates is something the Democrats have ignored for years.†“William Ayers is a guy who was a known drug dealer, waitaminuteletmefinish, and it wouldn’t shock me one bit if Obama was high on everything from juice to crystal meth. And I’ve been against crystal meth from day one, you can check my record,†said Hannity. Political pundits laughed off the notion that Obama could have possibly been on anything stronger than Cherry Coke Zero during the debate, and downplayed any possibility of drug testing on the presidential debate circuit. “This isn’t the Olympics. There’s no IOC. I mean, the candidates don’t even have to actually debate each other if they don’t want to,†said Harvard University Political Science Professor Sean Largo. “There’s no way anybody’s going to drug test Obama, but somebody may want to give McCain a physical, the guy sounded nearly asthmatic out there. I hope he has good health coverage.â€
After Barack Obama somehow was able to keep his breath during Tuesday Night’s Presidential Debate in the brutal altitude of Nashville, Tenn., John McCain has called for mandatory drug tests to follow every debate.
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Why hasn’t the media picked up on McCain’s wheezing? Seriously this last town hall style debate he was wheezing the whole time.
That’s scary and just hits home the idea that a vote for McCain is a vote for, “President Palin”.
Ouch!
-Scott
I know, I haven’t heard wheezing like that since this Adam Sandler skit:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZ1yKgGGkG4
David Spade: Is he sleeping?
Tim Meadows: No, it’s his deviated septum.
President Palin. That’s just too scary!
I dont know about you, but after that bailout bill went from 3 to 450 pages, I want everybody on capital hill to be pass a drug test. But Im sure theres a line in the bill that makes sure they cant be tested. And while were at it lets test Cindy. She doesnt look right. Oh wait thats the botox.
Botox explains Cindy’s plastic face, but what’s the deal with her plastic hair?