The San Francisco Giants hit 94 home runs last year. Man, that sucked. The Giants’ offense was less powerful than a light draft beer at Mays Field in 2008, leading to a season that between Lincecum starts was about as exciting as watching a Colin Firth movie every night (sorry, I have to capitalize on BASG’s first round of controversy, as I’ve suddenly become the Tim Kawakami to Firth’s Don Nelson).
Well if you thought last year was fun, you’ll love what’s about to happen this year. After the Giants hit 3 home runs on Opening Day, there were all the requisite jokes about how the Giants are on pace for 800 homers (or whatever 162 x 3 is, I can’t find the calculator application on my computer). Well guess what? Four games later the Giants are stuck on 3 HR’s, and are now on pace for 97.2 home runs (found the calculator) this season.
I’m not going to gloom-and-doom you to death here, because there are some bright spots offensively. Fred Lewis, Aaron Rowand and Randy Winn have combined for 23 hits, 2 homers and 8 walks. That’s some excellent outfield production over 5 games. Unfortunately all of those totals are exactly one more than half of what the entire team has produced so far. Sure, Edgar Renteria and Emmanuel Burriss won’t hit under .200 all year and Bengie Molina’s OBP (.286) won’t be lower than his batting average (.313) for long,Ã‚Â just like Tim Lincecum and Barry Zito won’t have 9.00 ERA’s forever. OK, Zito might, but whatever.
The point is, all we’ve learned is this: the Giants are still less powerful than a rum and coke in Utah, they probably won’t break 100 home runs for the season and they still can’t do anything right at Petco Park.
Just look at the bright side. They’ve only made 1 error, Matt Cain’s curse seems to have lifted and Timmy will take the mound in less than 12 hours — all good things. However, if Lincecum pulls a Cliff Lee tomorrow and has a second straight performance that causes baseball writers to look into the first-ever dual Cy Young take-back, there is no bright side and all we have to look forward to is the NFL Draft and my upcoming visit to UFC 97 in Montreal. Wait, did I just write that? I think it’s time for bed.