When it comes to steroid smoking guns, bacne is right at the top of the list along with a noticeably bigger dome and your name rhyming with Larry Monds. And according to NY Times writer Murray Chass, Mike Piazza’s back used to look like Dane Cook’s face did when the world’s most overrated comedian was a teenager (thanks to The Big Lead for the story).
Why do I bring this up, other than to poke fun of Pert Plus’ most famous spokesperson?
Because Rick Reilly wrote an obnoxious column a few weeks ago in which he pretends to steal MVP’s from alleged ‘roiders like Barry Bonds, Alex Rodriguez and Jose Canseco and give them to their “rightful” owners, including a supposedly clean Mike Piazza:
“Step up here, Mike Piazza. The late Ken Caminiti of the San Diego Padres stole your 1996 NL MVP, then admitted he was into more juice than Jack LaLanne. Yes, it’s 13 years late, but the nameplate is new!”
Hey Rick, just because Piazza is friendly to the media doesn’t mean he didn’t shoot enough testosterone and whatever else into his body to turn his back into a topographical map. And as players like Albert Pujols and Luis Gonzalez get thrown into the steroid witchhunt (and trust me, it will happen), I’m going to keep reminding all of you that Reilly’s a butthole. Not that any of you needed reminding.