Let’s just consider these picks a cautionary tale. No matter how much you like football and believe in your preconceived notions about teams and players, picking games against the spread is something best left to people with money to burn. The kind of people who would think nothing of buying Nike Air Mags and wearing them in the Giants’ dugout, except gambling is bad and wrong and terrible if you’re a Major Leaguer so maybe that’s a bad comparison.
Last week I went a Niners-like 6-10 in my picks against the spread. Time to do better. Again, a better use of your money than betting on games using these picks would be to set it on fire.
Jaguars @ Jets (-10)
Blowout city in the Jets’ first home game. If Kenny Britt could go off for 136 yards and 2 TD against Jacksonville, Plaxico Burress might be in for another nice game in his return from prison (which doesn’t seem to be a problem for NFL players).
Bears @ Saints (-7)
The Bears crushed the Falcons at home, while the Saints were stopped on the final play in Green Bay. I like the Saints to win, but 7 points is an awful lot against a pretty good Bears team.
Raiders @ Bills (-3)
Now that we know the Bills aren’t a complete mess, we have to go with that other thing we know: west coast teams have a hell of a time playing at 10 am PST on the east coast.
Cardinals @ Redskins (-3.5)
If the Redskins could beat the Giants by 14, they can beat the Cardinals by 4, right? Who knows, the Giants may be horrendous this year, since they’ve passed the point where any group of men could listen to Tom Coughlin anymore.
Ravens (-7) @ Titans
Baltimore looked like the NFL’s best team last week.
Seahawks @ Steelers (-15)
Shows what Vegas thinks of the Niners. I’m going with the upset, partly because 15 points is so much, and also because I have a feeling the Steelers’ loss last week wasn’t a fluke.
Packers (-11) @ Panthers
Lots of strange games this week with huge lines. The Packers looked great offensively against the Saints, but their defense wasn’t anything special. Again, a lot of points here.
Buccaneers @ Vikings (-2.5)
Look for the Bucs to come back from last week’s loss to Detroit in a big way.
Browns (-1) @ Colts
I think the Colts taught us a lesson last week. If you lose your franchise quarterback, tank and get another one.
Chiefs @ Lions (-9)
Todd Haley might not last the season.
Cowboys (-2.5) @ 49ers
At some point teams are going to realize that when a bunch of big names consistently lose (like the Cowboys, who also went 6-10 last year), they might be … overrated.
Texans (-2.5) @ Dolphins
Is it time to finally believe in Houston, or is Indy just that bad? 500+ yards for Tom Brady against Miami last Monday, though. Kind of makes you think Andre Johnson might go off for 250 yards and 4 scores.
Chargers @ Patriots (-8)
I think the Chargers’ comeback win at home against Minnesota last week wasn’t as much that the Vikings are better than we thought. The Chargers aren’t as good as everyone thought.
Bengals @ Broncos (-3)
Grossest game of the week, and that’s coming from someone who likes the color orange.
Eagles (-1) @ Falcons
Mike Vick might set an all-time record for fantasy points in this one. Or tear his ACL. Hard to tell.
Rams @ Giants (-7)
I have a sneaking suspicion the Giants are terrible, but the Rams will be without Steven Jackson and Sam Bradford has a boo-boo on his index finger.
Last week: 6-10