It’s been gloomy around these parts since Richard Sherman tipped that pass away from Michael Crabtree and into the hands of Malcolm Smith. So luckily we had one of the more humorous Seahawks-related videos of all time make the rounds this week. No, I’m not talking about Frank Caliendo mimicking a bunch of TV personalities and coaches (decent video, I guess; Caliendo’s Belichick was about 100x better than his Harbaugh). I’m referring to an NFL truther who put out a 15-minute video diagramming how the officials rigged the NFC Championship Game in favor of Seattle.

Matt Maiocco did a great job breaking down the officiating gaffes and strangeness (and there were certainly some odd moments in this game). I’m in total agreement with Maiocco, so there’s no need to go over every play. We also agree that “the video in question had too many baseless claims, inaccuracies and hyperbole to be taken too seriously.”

But let’s make fun of it anyway, because I can’t get enough of these slow, shaky closeups of the drivel that pours out of this home videographer’s head. The ambience created by the baby was a nice touch, too. Whoever made this video had an infant in the background making noises — and quite possibly getting burped — during the live action parts that the filmmaker caught with sound from some mediocre television speakers.

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nfl fixing games

Fair enough. It makes sense to assume this person has some real insider info here. OH, DO GO ON!!!

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nfl rigging games

The NFL is doing really well, so the chance to work in cahoots with a group of men that they locked out of several games a year ago during a contentious labor dispute is just too damned tempting to resist.

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nfl rigged 3

No actors, these are real players and coaches people. They’re people, too. Not robots. Or aliens, no aliens here.

(Stay tuned for this person’s next video, about aliens.)

And if you’re looking for specifics, the words “often,” “sometimes” and “usually” are outstanding choices. I don’t know about you guys, but I’m pretty much sold.

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nfl rigged 4

No offense to you YouTube commenters who may be reading, but the elementary-level argument on this slide shows why this video caught fire over there.

  • Officials are bad and mean.
  • NFL is good but also bad and mean.
  • Officials and NFL make 49ers make more plays. Harder to win games when team has to make more plays.
  • NFL <3’s Seahawks.

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long kickoff returns

You know what’s just glorious? This isn’t even the worst bit of pigskin knowledge this person displays …

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Here are his or her thoughts on Anthony Dixon needing two chances to rush/dive for a touchdown. Mike Iupati injured his ankle during the fourth down attempt and missed the rest of the game.

Mike Iupati best offensive lineman

Mike Iupati best player 2

I probably should’ve cropped these slides so they were the same width. Oh well, no use putting in extra work when the person who wrote these slides thinks Iupati is “likely the best offensive lineman in the NFL.” That’s like saying Ahmad Brooks is “likely the best linebacker in the NFL.”

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nfl rigged last one

There’s nothing the NFL strives to promote more than yardage and points rankings. Everyone knows that.

Bad officiating does not equal “rigged”

Was there some home cookin’ up in Seattle? Possibly. Was the officiating throughout the NFC Championship dreadful? Absolutely. But I’m a lot more prone to believe that bad officiating — something that occurs all the time during football games at every level — is something to be expected.

NFL refs are bad, college refs are worse (particularly in the Pac-12), and you haven’t seen bad officiating until you’ve watched high school football. I used to work as a stringer for the Bay Area News Group, where I’d take stats and write quick recaps after games. Generally the deadlines were at 10:30 or 11 pm, and I was almost always pressed for time, mostly because the officials would call 20+ penalties every game. God, they love calling holding. Nothing makes them feel more alive than figuring out the spot of the foul and walking off those 10 yards. (So scientific!)

Most high school refs are old and out of shape, which is fine. They’re making barely any money, and only crazy people want to officiate high school football. NFL officials are generally a good deal older than the players (and the coaches, in some cases), and everyone knows by now that they aren’t full-time employees. Surely they spend a good deal of time studying the league’s ever-changing rulebook, but they also have side jobs as financial advisors, lawyers and high school principals.

The trust game

After reading the above slides it’s impossible to trust the video’s creator on what brand of toothpaste to buy, let alone his or her thoughts on high-level criminal activity within a billion-dollar industry. But at the heart of all conspiracy theories lies a group of people who are so paranoid and distrustful of those in high places that they believe certain groups would do just about anything to get over on people. Yet, they bestow upon these same groups an imaginary skill that should be considered a superhuman power in this day and age: the ability to keep the juiciest of secrets private.

But that’s just my opinion. If it makes you feel better to believe the NFL was willing to risk it all for a team from the Pacific Northwest, and this YouTube hero was the one to crack the code, then by all means.