They say the cream always rises to the top. But after the milk turns sour, eventually the curdled chunks find their way up there, too.
It’s going to be hilarious — and a little sad — listening to Ted Robinson and the other glorified cheerleaders explain this one. We’re still waiting for Jed York’s postgame tweet. (Crickets, of course.) The 49ers followed up their “very fun win,” when they were Forrest Gump-lucky against a horrible home team, with a 24-10 loss to Johnny Football and the Browns.
The score means nothing. The Browns turned it over twice and had a field goal blocked in a wretched first half. The 49ers scored a total of three points in the first 58 minutes of this game, and those came after a three-and-out possession that followed a long punt return by Bruce Ellington. By the way, the Browns came into this game allowing more points per game than any team in the league other than the Saints.
Blaine Gabbert was sacked …
The Browns averaged 1.4 sacks per game heading into this awful game, a contest that made everyone watching it question multiple life decisions.
The 49ers gained 221 total yards. Against the Browns.
Gabbert finished with 194 passing yards, but 98 of those came in the fourth quarter and 52 of those came on that meaningless final touchdown drive. The offensive line was already putrid, and when they lost Alex Boone to injury it got even worse, but Gabbert isn’t some star in the making either. He’s … OK. If you have the best running back AND defense in the league, he’s good enough to lose the NFC Championship Game. With Trent Baalke’s roster — one of the most underwhelming groups of football talent in a league full of mediocre/bad teams — we’re seeing what Gabbert is. He’s going to play a long time in the league, but that doesn’t mean the 49ers should change their plans this offseason based on their hopes for him.
But this game wasn’t just about Gabbert and an offensive performance that could lead to Geep Chryst losing his job either tonight or tomorrow.
The 49ers allowed 481 total yards and Johnny Manziel passed for 271 yards despite looking fairly clueless on several plays. They gave up 230 rushing yards … to the Browns! Remember the Browns, the team that started the year without a single running back you’d want on your fantasy team(s)? They carved through the 49ers with ease. Isaiah Crowell, a rich man’s Shaun Draughn if we’re being kind, ran for 145 yards and two touchdowns.
If there was one positive thing we could say about Jim Tomsula, his team still played hard over the previous two weeks despite toiling through a lost season. They stunk up CenturyLink Field in the first half, but instead of collapsing, they gave the Cardinals a good game and beat the Bears (thanks to Robbie Gould) to earn their first road win since Jim Harbaugh was in charge.
Their effort today was pathetic. Receivers cruised through routes. Offensive linemen barely put up a fight. Other than Dial blocking that field goal, and two sacks against a freelancing quarterback who holds onto the ball roughly six seconds per play, the defense did nothing. Well, other than Jaquiski Tartt’s interception on a comically bad off-balance throw from Manziel. Maybe that’s the bright spot Robinson and the others will focus on this week.
— This is so 49ers:
IT’S KAP’S FAULT!!!!
My guess: Tony Sparano is the offensive coordinator by Tuesday.
— I can’t wait to watch Gabbert and Manziel as they compete for the starting job next summer in Santa Clara. Alright, Jerry Jones probably won’t let that happen … but anything is possible with these 49ers.
— My wife’s friend showed up when the game started. “This game is … kinda boring,” she said near the end of the first half. She said it with trepidation, almost like she was going to offend me. I assured her that every single person watching the game was thinking the same thing. In fact, if we didn’t have company and a torrential downpour wasn’t taking place at the start of this game, I probably would’ve gone for a walk.
— OK, that last part is a lie. The 49ers may be awful and boring, but their ineptitude is fascinating in its own sick way.
— We shouldn’t have been surprised by the outcome of this game, since the 49ers’ best player (Aaron Lynch) sat out with a concussion.
— That’s not to give the 49ers any excuses. They have plenty, and we’ll hear all of them (plus some that we didn’t even consider yet) when York finally breaks his football silence after the season. It shows how lame Baalke’s roster is. It’s star-free. Just a bunch of guys, mostly going through the motions on the road and playing a bit harder at home. Lynch is the only star, and he’s no All-Pro — he only shines this brightly because everyone around him is so dull.
— It’s never a good sign when you’re three leading tacklers (Kenneth Acker, Eric Reid and Tartt) are defensive backs.
— Ahmad Brooks, the voice of reason.
#49ers LB Ahmad Brooks: “We won last week because everybody played hard.”
— Eric Branch (@Eric_Branch) December 13, 2015
He also collected an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty after a Crowell touchdown run, so it’s not like he turned over a new leaf or anything. On that note, I wonder how his civil suit is going …
— This is still difficult to believe. I thought the 49ers would win this game, and at least one of their remaining three after that. The Browns were 3-10 before today, but they provided a valuable service. Well, two services if you include the 49ers’ draft position getting a slight nudge. More than a quarterback, a right tackle, a couple guards, another receiver, a tight end, a running back, a pass rusher, or a coaching staff, this team needed a reality check.
- Despite the party line pushed by several shills, the 49ers aren’t trending upward.
- They don’t have their “quarterback of the future,” they have a placeholder who keeps the blowouts from getting too embarrassing.
- The roster isn’t young and improving, it’s boring and apathetic.
- The coaching staff isn’t full of teachers, it’s a collection of yes-men making low salaries.
- The CEO isn’t trying to connect with fans via Twitter, he’s trying to fleece the fans and keep the sheep from realizing that the term “faithful” is a way of sucking their wallets dry when the product isn’t worth their time or money.
It’s difficult to comprehend why anyone would attend the final two home games. The players and coaches couldn’t care less about this season today, so why should the fans invest their time and money?