As I settled into my seat yesterday at the Coliseum, the A’s had contrived a way to make two errors before they even had a chance to hit. It was then I decided a serious column today might just make me lose my mind. So instead of bashing the worst team in baseball, I have come up with a fun (I hope) quiz. I shall invoke the clause of poetic license as some spellings are not exact matches. It works like this: “Former outfielder and what you get water from.” Answer: Wells (Casper, ’13) Got it? Let us begin. Answers below.
1. Outfielder and what the English call a potato chip.
2. Former Outfielder and the worst part of a chicken coop.
3. Former infielder and when your aunt kisses you on the lips.
4. Former infielder and someone who drops things.
5. Manager and what they called a wedgie in the 50’s.
6. Former pitcher and getting hit by a pitch.
7. Former infielder and the people who operate ferris wheels.
8. Former DH and genuflecting.
9. Outfielder and when you rub Icy Hot on your nether regions.
10. Former outfielder and two body parts.
11. Pitcher and hound.
12. Former infielder and fake bullets.
13. Former pitcher and knife.
14. Former outfielder and male deer.
15. Former pitcher and quick humor.
16. Former catcher and rat.
17. Catcher and ballot check.
18. Former infielder and Mel Gibson movie.
19. Former outfielder and Notre Dame benchwarmer.
20. Former catcher and candy bar.
21. Former infielder and a women’s size 2.
22. Former outfielder and rock fungus.
23. Former pitcher and flower.
24. Former catcher and an idiosyncrasy.
25. Former infielder and Canseco’s book title.
26. Former pitcher and animal stalker.
27. Former pitcher and appendages.
28. Former pitcher and a critical lecturing.
29. Former pitcher and Cartwright brother.
30. Pitcher and winged lion.
31. Former pitcher and messy comedian.
32. Former outfielder and fake hair color.
33. Former DH and being finished.
34. Former pitcher and being very cute.
35. Former pitcher and large intestine.
36. Pitcher and Julia Child.
37. Former outfielder and a decision.
38. Former infielder and blocks of 7 days.
39. Former catcher and German car.
40. Former infielder and a parcel.
41. Former DH and an Italian square.
42. Former infielder and being prepared.
43. Former pitcher and a filet mignon.
44. Former pitcher and being catered to.
45. Former pitcher and bed coverings.
46. Former outfielder and mountain range.
47. Former pitcher and flint creations.
48. Former DH and what you walk up and down on.
49. Former pitcher and what you drive on.
50. Former pitcher and a car driving too close behind you.