Al Davis

Only in a San Francisco Laundromat

After a pretty non-descript sports weekend, it’s definitely time for a bunch of mostly unrelated thoughts. Ready, set, go!

–I’m in the Laundromat, next to a bulletin board which includes an ad on a pink piece of paper that reads “ARTFAG — Bringing art faggotry back to the Haight.” I don’t really have a joke there, I’m just wondering…when did art faggotry ever leave?

–It’ll shock you to know that “ARTFAG” can be found on Facebook.

–So the Buffalo Bills signed Terrell Owens, and we’re all SURE Al Davis is still alive?

–Is there any Bay Area team that ceases to exist quite to the extent that the Warriors do when they go on the road?

–The Warriors did release Marcus Williams today, so I have a question for all of you. Is it still cool to wear my orange No. 5 Williams jersey in Oracle I just got from NBA.com? Keep in mind it’s authentic, although I always feel slower when I put it on.

–The chances that Jamal Crawford will opt out of the last two years of his contract, which will pay him $20M: 0%.

–The chances Don Nelson will trade Crawford next season for a player making the same salary for more years: 97%.

–The chances whatever player Nelson acquires for Crawford plays just as little defense or less than Crawford does: 80%.

–The Warriors’ only hope: that Nelson can convince Michael Jordan and Rod Higgins to trade either Boris Diaw or Gerald Wallace for Crawford. Only MJ would think this was a good idea, so there is a chance.

–I’m sure Ned Colletti loved it when Colleen Dominguez asked Manny Ramirez what his goals were and Manny said, “Nothing.” Now there’s someone who wants to bring a title to L.A. about as much as I want to finish an entire Season 1 DVD of “Everybody Loves Raymond” in one sitting.

–Prediction: Matt Downs will be a San Francisco Giant by June.

–After watching Saint Mary’s beat Portland in the semis of the WCC Tournament last night it came to me — the WCC has cornered the market on fat freshman centers.

John Hegarty, Portland (7-0/320, Fr.): 320 is absolutely not true, and the combined bulk of Hegarty and Jasonn Hannibal (a sophomore for Portland who goes 6-10/270) caused one of last night’s announcers to proclaim, “You gotta bring a lot of food to the training table with these two.”

Omar Samhan, Saint Mary’s (6-11/265, Jr.): To call Samhan “doughy” as a freshman would be an understatement. The guy has great hands and decent touch inside, but he was at least 300 lbs as a freshman and has had to work hard to get into the average shape he’s in now. Samhan can now run a 6-minute mile, where as a freshman it was questionable he could finish a mile.

John Bryant, Santa Clara (6-11/275, Sr.): Bryant won the WCC Player of the Year this season after losing 85 pounds over his college career. While he might not have won the WCC award if Patty Mills hadn’t missed the end of the regular season with a broken hand, but 18.1 ppg, 14.2 rpg and 2.5 bpg give hope to fat frosh centers everywhere.

–Alright, now I’m leaving the Laundromat, and I’m not going to go check out any art. Not that there’s anything wrong with…you know…art.

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