“My wife met me at the front door the other night in a sexy negligee,” Rodney Dangerfield once quipped. “Unfortunately, she was just coming home.”

You might not like Dangerfield, but as a Giants’ fan, you have to empathize with him. Similar to Dangerield, you greeted your beloved team at the door on Friday night with high expectations. After all, they did just score 57 runs over the previous seven games. And what do you get?


The Giants have lost eight of their last 11 home games. They average a paltry 3.21 runs per home game, compared to the 5.11 they average on the road. And, to top it all off, they were just shut out by the Colorado Rockies. Giants’ fans have to be wondering what they did wrong.

Well, if you’d have read Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus like I told you to, you’d know that teams like the Giants prefer to work through their troubles in solidarity. So maybe you shouldn’t bombard them with questions when they get home from work.

“I do see guys pressing a little bit here at home,” Bochy admitted. “It’s hard to figure out why.”

“I do believe the talk about the last home stand and the lack of scoring can get in their head a little bit,” Bochy continued.

See! See what you’ve done! Because you couldn’t leave well enough alone, the Giants are now in their own heads, probably trying to overcompensate for their inadequacies–which is exactly what they shouldn’t do.

“You can’t get up there and try to hit homeruns,” Bochy warned. “You can’t do it. You’re going to compound the problem.”

So what’s the best course of action, you ask? How do you salvage the home you worked so hard to build?

“It’s got to get better,” Bochy said. “In order for us to get this thing done, we need to play where we’re swinging the bats better here at home. We got to quit talking about it, and go out and do it.”

In honor of Bochy’s decree, I am placing a three-hour moratorium on talking about the Giants offensive woes. That should do the trick, shouldn’t it?

Note: This moratorium does not apply to twitter.