Lately, it seems like there have been some Negative Nancy’s hanging around the Warriors games (and Giants, 49ers and Raiders). But I’m not giving up. And all of you other Warriors fans should not give up either. I’m sensing a comeback in the horizon. And I think there’s a special secret weapon that needs to be unleashed in order to achieve this comeback. I’m not talking about Monta’s behind-the-back to the hoop move or Baron Davis’ fierce beard or even all that crazy Warrior ink. This secret weapon takes the team back to a time when they were the champions. The year was 1975 and the secret weapon was the Warriors short-shorts.
I’ve seen throwback jerseys of championship teams worn on the court this season. Some teams even believe throwing a “Los” in front of their team name adds some extra power. But none of these teams are genuinely throwing back to champions past (or heritage past) if they’re not wearing the whole uniform. And that uniform includes the short shorts.
The short shorts provide support that seems to be lacking in the game today as well as speed. Less material means that there’s nothing getting in the way of that fast break layup. I’m not making this up either. Rick Barry was the MVP in ’75 when the Warriors won the NBA championship. And guess what? He was sporting those schnazzy short shorts. Barry is in the NBA Hall of Fame and is the only player ever to lead the NCAA, NBA, and ABA in scoring. He scored more than 25,000 points in his professional career. 25,000 points all made while wearing the super secret weapon.
So, bring it on Memphis, New Orleans, Sacramento, Denver, Clippers, Phoenix and Seattle. The Warriors will be unveiling the Barry secret weapon. And it’s not gonna be pretty.