First off, congratulations to the winners of yesterday’s contest, Jared and Aaron Smith! Their names were drawn out of a Montreal Expos hat (for neutrality reasons) by our next door neighbor. Someone from DIE HARD CO. will be in contact with Jared and Aaron Smith shortly to arrange for their shirts. Now, onto today’s contest…

Adult men wearing panda hats. Yep.

How much do Oakland A’s fans and San Francisco Giants fans despise each other? Joey McMurry doesn’t think there’s enough animosity between the two groups to call it a true rivalry. However, I think that’s simply a product of the two teams being in different leagues.

If Major League Baseball realigned dramatically to the point where they created a Pacific Coast Division including the A’s, Giants, Dodgers, Angels, Padres and Mariners, the Bay Bridge rivalry would by default become more intense. Why? Because instead of just bragging rights, the A’s and Giants would be fighting for the same thing: a playoff spot. They’d also play each other after the early parts of summers, but I digress. Even though the A’s/Giants rivalry can seem like a manufactured product of interleague play, each group of fans — from my own experience at least — doesn’t really care for the other group.

As such, in the same vein as a “Your Mama” jokes session, I’m opening up the comments for the best insults you can come up with. Sort of like a baseball version of one of those Comedy Central celebrity roasts.

If you’re an A’s fan, this is your chance to rip on all the marketing gimmicks you can’t stand or make fun of the Giants based on a certain year that was mentioned earlier this week. For Giants fans, all attendance-related jabs are on the table, same with Brad Pitt movies and Yoenis Cespedes’ eyebrows.

Chris Townsend took this photo during A’s/Royals

Here are the rules for the contest:

– Insults must be “friendly.” That means no cursing or personal attacks on other commenters. I rarely delete comments, but if anyone crosses the line their comment will be removed without explanation.

– Keep it to one joke per post. If you have several jokes about the A’s or Giants, put them in different comments.

– On Friday I’m going to pick the ten best jokes/insults and let you all vote. Top two vote getters will win the shirt of their choice from DIE HARD CO.

Sound good? Now start ripping!