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Rivals Week: Rip the Giants, rip the A’s – it’s Friendly Insult Day!

First off, congratulations to the winners of yesterday’s contest, Jared and Aaron Smith! Their names were drawn out of a Montreal Expos hat (for neutrality reasons) by our next door neighbor. Someone from DIE HARD CO. will be in contact with Jared and Aaron Smith shortly to arrange for their shirts. Now, onto today’s contest…

Adult men wearing panda hats. Yep.

How much do Oakland A’s fans and San Francisco Giants fans despise each other? Joey McMurry doesn’t think there’s enough animosity between the two groups to call it a true rivalry. However, I think that’s simply a product of the two teams being in different leagues.

If Major League Baseball realigned dramatically to the point where they created a Pacific Coast Division including the A’s, Giants, Dodgers, Angels, Padres and Mariners, the Bay Bridge rivalry would by default become more intense. Why? Because instead of just bragging rights, the A’s and Giants would be fighting for the same thing: a playoff spot. They’d also play each other after the early parts of summers, but I digress. Even though the A’s/Giants rivalry can seem like a manufactured product of interleague play, each group of fans — from my own experience at least — doesn’t really care for the other group.

As such, in the same vein as a “Your Mama” jokes session, I’m opening up the comments for the best insults you can come up with. Sort of like a baseball version of one of those Comedy Central celebrity roasts.

If you’re an A’s fan, this is your chance to rip on all the marketing gimmicks you can’t stand or make fun of the Giants based on a certain year that was mentioned earlier this week. For Giants fans, all attendance-related jabs are on the table, same with Brad Pitt movies and Yoenis Cespedes’ eyebrows.

Chris Townsend took this photo during A’s/Royals

Here are the rules for the contest:

— Insults must be “friendly.” That means no cursing or personal attacks on other commenters. I rarely delete comments, but if anyone crosses the line their comment will be removed without explanation.

— Keep it to one joke per post. If you have several jokes about the A’s or Giants, put them in different comments.

— On Friday I’m going to pick the ten best jokes/insults and let you all vote. Top two vote getters will win the shirt of their choice from DIE HARD CO.

Sound good? Now start ripping!

48 Comments

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48 Comments on "Rivals Week: Rip the Giants, rip the A’s – it’s Friendly Insult Day!"

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Renatus
Guest
Member
Renatus

no insults, but i’ll hit ya where it hurts…
1. 1989
2. SWEEP
Oakland A’s > sf giants

Tru
Guest
Member
Tru
The A’s have tarps, the Giants had no one going to Candlestick. The Giants have yuppies in Panda hats, the A’s have loudmouth flag wavers. The Giants were going to Tampa, the A’s are stuck in a football stadium. However, what it really comes down to is this: SF Giants: (with 10 year head start) 1 World Championship, 4 Pennants, and 9 Playoff Appearances Oakland A’s: 4 World Championships, 6 Pennants, and 15 Playoff Appearances The Giants could win three World Series in a row and they’d only just be getting to the A’s level of success. As someone very… Read more »
Kyle McLorg
Admin
Member

Vuvuzela guy. Enough said.

Cranky
Guest
Member
Cranky

The Giants are such wimps, the seagulls that swoop down at the end of the game have bigger cajones.

confused
Guest
Member
confused

Do the As even have a mascot? At least the Giants have gender-ambiguous Lou Seal. Or is it Lucille?

John Sports
Guest
Member

The only good thing about going to a Giants game is…You can bring your 4 Year old Daughter and tell her shes at the Zoo.

Laura Renee
Guest
Member
Laura Renee

If a perfect game is thrown (on Mother’s Day), but no one is there to see it, did it really happen?

John Sports
Guest
Member

That hurt Laura…but pretty damn funny.

Laura Renee
Guest
Member
Laura Renee

Thanks John, you know the old “if a bear s**t’s in the woods joke…” and even more appropriate after Cainer’s rousing perfecto…but seriously, 12,000 people at Braden’s perfect game? What a shame…

John Sports
Guest
Member

Giants fans are such Band Wagon fans…That are thinking of having Instrument day at Coke-Slide park.

John Sports
Guest
Member

What do the A’s and Giants have in common?

They have 10 to 15,000 knowledgeable, hard-core fans show up to their games every night.

admin
Member
Member

Why Moneyball doesn’t work anymore – Billy Beane was driven insane in real life by his daughter who would not stop singing this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=fvwp&NR=1&v=YTnIHnawJeI

Sports Girl Liz
Member
Member

Really A’s fans? Two thumbs down (so far)? Even you have to admit that was an especially annoying part of the movie. Come on!

John Sports
Guest
Member

Actually SGL I pretty much found the whole Movie annoying. Typical Billy Beane ego…That team was so good because of him??? It couldn’t have anything to do with that Pitching staff, Chavez and Tejada…Nooo it was Scott Hatteberg.

You get two thumbs up from me.

Sports Girl Liz
Member
Member

Thanks John!

And also to all A’s fans, my punishment for finding that clip is that the song is now stuck in my head for the rest of my life probably. Boooo

The Sports Leader
Guest
Member
The Sports Leader

SGL must echo your sentiments as well.
Billy Beane = the most over rated front office offical in organized sports.
Yet . . . the Chronicle will find a way to write another bueaty piece about this self-centered individual.
Billy do you want to learn how to run a ball club?
Look no furhter than Brian Sabean, 3 managers in 16 years at the helm.
Billy how many managers have you had?

B.A. Rich
Guest
Member
B.A. Rich

And another thing, which has nothing to do with his GM abilities, but it just bugs me… He’s a grown ass man! Why the hell is he still calling himself ‘Billy’. Drop the ‘Y’. Bill Beane

John Sports
Guest
Member

Have you heard that they are making a re-make of the Shining?

They asked Tim Lincicum to play the part of Wendy.

Enjoih
Guest
Member
Enjoih

If even half of these A’s commenters showed up to their park, that would easily double the nightly showing.

How about, instead of whining about your team leaving town, being a small market team, being jealous of the real fanbase across the Bay, you “fans” give a reason for your team to improve that dump of a stadium.

It would be nice to have a real local rival instead of a has-been franchise boasting about a decade long stretch. Can’t wait to see you all become Giants fans when travelling to San Jose is too rough a commute.

SFGigante
Guest
Member
SFGigante

A’s have fans? Couldn’t tell by all the opposing fans who take over the O.Co on a consistent basis. Difference between A’s fans & Giants fans is that Giants fans take over park SEE: Safeco Field, Petco Park, Angels Stadium and the O.Co while A’s fans get there stadium taken over!! Btw, way to have the worst RSN ratings along with horrible radio ratings as well! No Tarps needed at 24 Willie Mays Plaza! Croixdecandlestick 4 life!

Pandamonium
Guest
Member
Pandamonium

The A’s should set up Dynamic Seat Pricing. Maybe they’d actually fill up their seats if the demand showed that you have to pay people to get them to go to o.Co

Justin
Guest
Member

Last year during the BB Series I was at a Giants game in Oakland. I can’t remember who it was, but somebody on the A’s hit a sharp grounder just inside the 3rd base line. Huff was about to make a decent play on it, until the ball took a weird bounce off of—I swear to god—a folding chair that someone left laying around just outside of fair territory.

I like AT&T Park because it looks like a professional baseball team plays there.

Tru
Guest
Member
Tru

Huh, I like the A’s trophy case, because it looks like a professional baseball team filled it. You guys do have a nice collection of yuppies and soccer moms though.

John Sports
Guest
Member

TRU-DAT

Son of Saenz
Guest
Member
Son of Saenz

Giants fan: Let’s-go-Gi-ants!

Me: Your-hat’s-brand-new!

*silence*

topraman
Guest
Member
topraman

If the giants were still at candlestick, do you think they would still draw a bunch of fans, and I use the term loosely in this case, who show up late to read their email on there mobile device only cause they want to be “seen” at the game?
Most of the giants fans think Chili Davis is something on the menu in place of garlic fries…..

Sean John
Guest
Member
Sean John

AAA’s “fans” don’t even know how to get to the colisuem. Most of them don’t even know the coliseum is now called the O.Co. GOT TARPS? GOT FANS?

John Sports
Guest
Member

Your Welcome Giant’s fans: A’s 4 Dodgers 1

The Sports Leader
Guest
Member
The Sports Leader

I won’t rip the A’s or the Giants.
But rather (with glee in my voice) take another shot at Ralph (do you know who I am?) Barbieri.
We hope you lose your law suit.
Your time is up. Be gone and go away.

topraman
Guest
Member
topraman

Oh Ralph Malph, what wont you do?

Phil Laak
Guest
Member
Phil Laak

giants fans are such bandwagon fans…rinse…repeat…..look at my trophies from the 70’s…..rinse…..repeat…..look at all those bandwagon fans…..rinse….repeat…….if i say it enough times it will probably be true…..rinse……repeat…..i’m not bitter or anything……but damn look at all those bandwagon fans……rinse…..repeat……

John Sports
Guest
Member

HUH!!!…Don’t forget the trophy from 1989, we are pretty proud of that one. Even though it was the easiest one to win. Total competition imbalance.

topraman
Guest
Member
topraman

a sweeping statement….

topraman
Guest
Member
topraman

Zito is worth 120 million…rinse….repeat…Lincecum is still good…..rinse….repeat….Panda is innocent….rinse….repeat
but dam Zito is worth 120 million…rinse…repeat

LOL
Guest
Member
LOL

This is hilarious! A’s fans really got it out for the Giants don’t they!

THANK YOU OAKLAND ATHLETICS FOR SWEEPING THE ONLY RIVAL OF THE GIANTS:

The Los Angeles Dodgers!

Scott
Guest
Member
Scott

I love the Giants as if they’re blood. The A’s are my step children.

Kyle McLorg
Admin
Member

Giants fans comin in weak here

swimfaye
Guest
Member
swimfaye

OMG! I have been holding on to this for a while…I’ve got a few for our Bay area teams…first one is for the A’s ( note I thought this up while sober )

“The Oakland A’s might be the first in the Alphabet but they like being the bottom of the AL because its a kick in the butt to watch them play’

swimfaye
Guest
Member
swimfaye

Ok you may not like the A’s but you have to say something about the Giants

“The San Francisco Giants picked orange as their team color because ORANGE you glad they are not in New York anymore ”

My boss’ son thought that was funny

swimfaye
Guest
Member
swimfaye

” Do you know why Green is the Oakland A’s color?”

“No”

“Because the whole team is envious of McCathy’s wife!”

that was a collaboration between another teenager and I on the bus.

swimfaye
Guest
Member
swimfaye

“Why do the Giants have all those misfit players?

Because Walmart only trades in discounted goods”

Originally this was a reference to Pat Burrell’s somewhat disbarging reputation as a bad boy.

swimfaye
Guest
Member
swimfaye

Last one…I promise..

What do JT Snow, Tim Lincecum and Bruce Bochy have in common?

Darren Baker, one saved him one babysat him, and one will give his job to him you decide.

Phil
Guest
Member
Phil

Can’t wait to go to the Coliseum this weekend to see this rivalry re-ignited with star power on both sides!

Cain, Posey, and Melky for the Giants.

Gio, Ethier, and CarGo for the A’s…. wait a minute.

asd
Guest
Member
asd

Three words: Triple. Digit. Attendance.

Stan
Guest
Member
Stan

Since its been historic that the team with the hot hand has not only beat the other bay brother..but many sweeps also.
The Giants really faded with Lincecums last start vs Seattle..they were peaking until he just came out and was shelled. Tim head-locked the team’s mojo.
A’s…win this series…

3rdKing
Guest
Member
3rdKing

the only thing good going for the A’s is ….nothing

Giants own MLB with Bums, Yank, Sox

3rdKing
Guest
Member
3rdKing

A’s fans on BASG bagging on the Giants,

Giants fans on the internet voting for Melky and Panda and Cain…

B.A. Rich
Guest
Member
B.A. Rich

Oakland hasn’t had consistent hits since Too Short

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