I love a good romantic movie, especially romantic comedies. You know what you’re getting: lovey-dovey feelings in your heart, cheesy/obvious jokes, and some REALLY bad acting.
The Giants happen to have a team that is incredibly animated and that led me down a dark (yet candlelit) path — if the Giants were going to star in a romance movie, what would it be? I took the time to mock up some of the poster art that might go along with the movie so you can really visualize where I’m going with this.
WARNING: You cannot unsee any of the images below.
Starring Matt Cain and Madison Bumgarner
I love the idea of buddy comedies that tie in a little bit of romance. I can’t say for certain, but I think friendly starting pitchers Matt Cain and Madison Bumgarner would be PERFECT for this role. From now on everyone should make MadBum’s “FFFffff” face whenever they crash a wedding.
Silver Linings Playbook
Starring Ryan Vogelsong
No, I don’t think Ryan Vogelsong has OCD. I do think this is a perfect metaphor for the struggles he’s gone through and determination he shows. Sorry guys, I had to get real for a second. Only ridiculous comparisons from now on.
Starring George Kontos
Let’s not pretend ladies don’t love George Kontos. That being said, I think he would make an excellent male lead in The Notebook because, well – the rain. Kissing. Romantic lines uttered. Definite MTV Movie Awards material.
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Starring Brandon Belt
PS I love you
Starring Barry Zito
I have absolutely zero rationale for this other than I thought Barry Zito’s face would look awesome and creepy on this poster.
Starring Buster Posey
Classic. Amazing. Timeless. Buster Posey. Raise your hand if you would like Buster Posey to hold a boom box over his head for you? /everyone including the men raise their hands
Starring Brandon Crawford
Brandon Crawford and his lovely wife Jalynne just happen to be new parents. The only difference is that Brandon and Jalynne are adorable together and Seth Rogan and Katherine Heigl are um, unlikely.
Starring Tim Lincecum
An emo movie for the Seattle native. Also, Michael Cera and Tim Lincecum have similar … statures?
Starring Javier Lopez
Javier Lopez is slick, smooth, and stylin’ – he would make a perfect Hitch. There’s a reason why his teammates selected him as most likely to be an international spy, he’s a chameleon.
Starring Angel Pagan
No no – he’s not Channing Tatum. He’s the smooth and sassy pimp character played by Matthew McConaughey. I’m pretty sure Pagan should always walk around with a leather vest and a cowboy hat. He probably already does…
Starring Brian Sabean
I can actually see this one a little too clearly. Brian Sabean would totally snap his Razr phone shut onto Julia Robert’s fingers.
Starring Chad Gaudin
No reason. Just think Gaudin fits here.
Twilight: Breaking Dawn
Starring Hunter Pence and Hector Sanchez
Hunter Pence’s eyes are either human, alien, or vampire. They are mesmerizing. I also like the idea of him being a timeless vampire falling in love with Bella Swan/Kristen Stewart. Hector Sanchez? Well, I had to put him somewhere. He’s very Jacob-esque and has wolf-like eyes.