Brian Sabean

Sabean’s new Unit’s an NL West Killer

So I got home from watching the fantastic “Slumdog Millionaire,” and in my emails was a note from the San Francisco Giants, letting me know they had done what everyone knew they would, sign Randy Johnson.

I have to say it was nice of the Big Unit to accept a one-year deal from Brian Sabean, when everyone knows the Giants would have easily increased their offer by an extra year. I mean, we’re talking 300 wins here! What Giants fan doesn’t take immense pride in seeing a guy who spent the first 21 years of his career with other teams achieve a milestone? And the guy’s from Livermore, for God’s sake! I lived there, and technically it’s the Bay Area. Everyone knows the Altamont separates the Bay Area from those yokels in Tracy and Mountain House.

Then I checked Randy’s career splits, and now I envision Sabean skipping through his house, singing “I’m so excited” while wearing his favorite Z Cavaricci jeans his wife wished he would just give to charity already. Look at his career record against the NL West (he never faced Arizona, for obvious reasons):

Rockies: 27 Starts, 198.2 IP, 18-7, 2.31 ERA, 0.91 WHIP
Dodgers: 23 Starts, 162 IP, 8-6, 2.72 ERA, 1.08 WHIP
Padres: 26 Starts, 190.2 IP, 16-5, 2.45 ERA, 0.99 WHIP

Somewhere, Sabean is reading this while sucking down three Marlboro Lights, fantasizing about a healthy Noah Lowry and the first six-man starting rotation featuring five lefties.

Extra Dewar’s at the Sabean household, please!

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