The Giants are truly frustrating to watch right now. Watching them play baseball every day is like pouring yourself a bowl of cereal and then realizing the milk is putrid and tastes like rotten eggs. The Froot Loops taste fine, but when you slop on rancid milk, the whole thing tastes disgusting. AMIRITE?
We played the Reds this week, but true to my promise on Twitter, I’m going to pretend like that series never happened. Rainout? What rainout? No hitter? What no hitter? I’ve never even heard of Homer Bailey.
Instead, I’m going to focus my energy on wishing Hanley Ramirez and Yasiel Puig would be orbited into space without helmets so their faces would melt off. I am also going to channel positive energy into the universe by compiling only GIFs that make the Giants like wonderful and the Dodgers look like buttholes. I an unwavering source of unbiased information.
Because Yasiel Puig is my least favorite person, let’s celebrate Hunter Pence being awesome in Triples Alley. My only regret is that he is wearing sunglasses and I cannot see those amazing buggy eyes boring a hole into my soul:
4. Roberto Kelly gets frantic
WE ARE SO DESPERATE WE ARE TO HAVE RUNNERS IN SCORING POSITION OMG LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE TO ROBERTO KELLY
3. LOL Hanley
Dodgers proving that can also be super embarrassing via Hanley Ramirez
2. Corner Infielder Celebration Jump
Pablo and Belt celebrate a “win” (whatever that is) by doing an unconventional celebration jump in front of Buster and Sergio. Well done, Fox cameramen. This is vast improvement to Umpire Butt Cam.
1. Yasiel Puig Strike Out Montage
“The Story of the Golden Sombrero” by Yasiel Puig
Tune-in next week when I will probably have a million GIFs of Zack Wheeler making us regret the Carlos Beltran trade!