Brian Sabean

Sanchy-squared soars superbly

I’m usually not much for alliterative headlines, but Sanchy-squared was super-sweet tonight! Wait, I almost did it again. I think I’m delusional after seeing back-to-back homers and Jonathan Sanchez walking off the mound after every inning looking as if he had just watched Team America: World Police for the first time. You know, because that movie is ridiculously funny.

You don’t think Team America is funny? Then you’re not only not a true ‘Merican (double-negative!), but you probably should stop reading this post right now. Why? Because thanks to Jon Miller, I’m in a Team America mood. When Miller kept making Bourne Supremacy-esque comments in the first inning with Michael Bourne at the plate, all I could keep doing was say “Matt…Damon”  in my head again and again.

Great win tonight, 8-1 and the only thing we can complain about is that Eugenio Velez dove for that Carlos Lee single, which eventually led to the run that took away the Giants’ 43rd shutout of the season…or something.

The Giants are a slap-hitting team, one that everyone seems to agree has taken to their ballpark because their expansive outfield allows more singles, doubles and triples. When they get base hits, they usually win. When they get 16 hits, 2 homers and a pitching performance by Jonathan Sanchez that could just as well serve as virtual Maalox for Brian Sabean, they’re downright unstoppable. Matt…Damon.

Unrelated Assertions:

— The lack of power — or perhaps the lack of Barry Bonds — has completely changed the way the Giants’ announcers call long fly balls. Flemming doesn’t do this quite as much, but whenever Miller or Duane Kuiper see a ball hit sharply in the air by anybody (it doesn’t have to be a Giant), especially on the radio, it sounds like it’s going ten rows up the bleachers. As a result, listening to Giants games on the radio has become sort of like watching a game next to a 9-year-old boy behind home plate. Miller and Kuip are either desperate for homers, getting older or have been told to boost their excitement for any fly ball near the warning track…or maybe all of the above.

— Not that I was angry when it happened, but I’m happily wrong about my apathy towards the Freddy Sanchez trade. It wasn’t that I thought Tim Alderson was going to be a future All-Star, but I thought he was rated highly enough so that Sabean could have gotten more for him than a 31-year-old contact hitter making $8 million per year with a bum knee. Now I’m ready to crown F-Sanchy the next Kenny Lofton, the guy who’ll take the Giants to the postseason just because he’s he’s a bad-ass who isn’t afraid of anybody. Well, until he tweaks his knee again (sorry).

— I’ve always liked the Ryan Garko deal, by the way, and I still do. I can see Garko doing quite nicely in Cincinnati, Colorado, Philly and Milwaukee. And since the Giants’ offensive woes on the road were today’s DAILY CRISIS, if Garko can park a few it would be mighty nice. Mighty nice indeed.

— If Sanchez turns into Wandy Rodriguez like Grant sort of suggested yesterday, the no-hitter would be the first clue. Tonight would be the second. J-Sanchy wasn’t just dirty, he was disgusting. It’s amazing how when he falls apart with his control, he really falls apart. But if he can toss 7 shutout innings before his meltdowns, nobody will say a word. Except Baltimore Dave on KNBR, but I’m becoming more and more convinced that Salty Balty is actually a KNBR employee.

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