One of the many joys of walking to work in San Francisco every morning is walking past people who are sleeping on the sidewalks, especially on Market St. between McCallister and Fifth St. I stopped feeling bad about it long ago, even though as I walk by about a third of the time my thought process goes like this:
Are his eyes open?
Boy, that can’t be comfortable.
Wait, he isn’t dead, is he? No, I don’t think so.
Is he breathing?
Well, I’ve continued walking and now I’m 100 feet away, so I guess I should stop worrying about it. Hey look, a woman in a wheelchair, holding a chihuahua. Wait, is the chihuahua steering?
It makes me feel like a horrible person. Okay, that’s a lie. This happens ALL THE TIME, so now I’m desensitized to the sight of maybe-dead-guys — sort of like I no longer notice people with signs asking for beer money (it was funny the first time I saw a sign like that, back in 1991) or people selling rap CD’s outside the Walgreen’s next to my work (tip for the artists: don’t play your CD on your crappy boombox and maybe you’ll fool someone into thinking you have better lines than, “I’m makin’ money mane, you can find me in the club mane”). Also, there’s no way I’m going to check the passed-out-in-the-street guy to see if he’s still alive, just to have him suddenly wake up, grab my arm and yell, “BRAINS! BRAAAIIIINNNNSSS!!!!”
This morning there was someone lying on the corner of Market and Sixth on the sidewalk, about four feet from the intersection. Gut hanging out, eyes closed, the usual. Across the street, a cop stood against the wall, looking for something apparently more worrisome than the blatant drug dealing going on half a block away or the maybe-dead-guy people were stepping over across the street. It makes you kind of wonder if Four Loko was actually providing a service: keeping drunk homeless people awake so they don’t pass out on busy streetcorners during daylight hours.
Back to sports … sort of!
– Got a tip that Eric Byrnes is currently deciding whether or not to be the next host of SportsPhone 680, but isn’t sure he wants the time/work commitment. Can’t imagine he’d stay long if KNBR actually did hire him. F.P. only hosted the show for nine months, and Byrnes has already done national TV work for Fox and MLB Network. If I were Lee Hammer I’d hire a guy who could build a following for a few years at least, but Byrnes is a known guy around these parts and it’s almost pitchers and catchers time. I’ll be surprised if he didn’t get the gig.
– Funny moments from last night, courtesy of Dorell Wright’s son (video of his love of locker room chairs in last night’s post). After a few post-games, it’s pretty clear that Devin Wright (who’s almost 3) has full run of the place. After the Warriors lost to the Spurs, little Devin ran into the locker room past us slovenly media and wannabe media types, heading directly into the showers to find his dad, who yelled, “Give me two minutes.” David Lee later asked Devin (who’s got a pretty impressive little ‘fro going) if he was going to get a haircut, and Devin said, “No” with authority. It’s pretty safe to say that Devin is the “Darren Baker” of the 2010/11 Warriors.
– Anyone ever think about what would have happened if Bengie Molina had landed on little Darren back in 2002? They probably would have had to postpone the World Series for at least a couple weeks, right? Kid narrowly escaped death, thanks to J.T. Snow.
– Luckily my face has cleared up since I was a kid, and my acne was never bad enough to end up with my face looking like Dane Cook’s, but this week I got one of those zits on the back of your head. Agony. Not sure what’s worse, the mountainous zit on the back of your head that somehow seems to stick around for a week and a half, or when you get a zit in your earlobe. Maybe I need to start showering regularly.
– The Giants signed Marc Kroon, a reliever who’s sucked in the Majors but reportedly hit 101-mph a few years ago in Japan. Normally I’d make a joke about how highly sought after Japanese players are out of the Giants’ price range, but 38-year-olds that at one point rocked the cornrows and couldn’t throw strikes in the Majors are worth a look. But check out this guy’s website. He was a Yomiuri Giant, and he loves Japanese baseball so much he references how he can throw 161 kmh. Have to say I’m intrigued.
– Thanks to Sharapova’s Thigh, one of the best post-goal soccer celebrations ever. I think that guy really is part fish!
– If you have any kindness in your heart after stepping over homeless people all day (alright, maybe that’s just me), check out my weekly mega-column over at SB Nation Bay Area. This week I go through the four interviews Joe Lacob did last week, Aaron Rodgers, Al Davis, and the San Jose Earthquakes. Okay, not all of those subjects are included. Betcha can’t figure out which one!