The evil empire of the West Coast is at it again, rudely using their never-ending stream of cash to lure some of the best players in the world.

The nerve of these guys. Just because baseball is an uncapped sport doesn’t mean life is just one long final round of Supermarket Sweep. Baseball has unwritten rules, and one of them is an agreement to make things easier on the have-nots in your own division.

dwOne of those unfortunate teams, the San Francisco Giants, made a statement signing today with the addition of Dontrelle Willis. The statement: “Uh, no one has talked about us for a month so we might as well sign a local kid people have heard of. Again.”

Willis was a badass … in 2005. He threw seven complete games and five shutouts that season and finished second in the Cy Young voting. He wasn’t the same pitcher two years later, when he gave up more earned runs than anyone in the majors and his home runs allowed ballooned from 11 in ’05 to 29 in ’07, but his .856 OPS was fifth on the Marlins.

This marks the second time the Giants have signed him to a minor league deal; Willis pitched 7 1/3 combined innings for the Giants’ rookie ball and triple-A teams back in 2010. Andrew Baggarly doesn’t believe he’ll earn an invite to major league camp this spring, citing the need to find a delivery he can repeat. That makes sense, since Willis lost the ability throw strikes consistently back in 2008.

Willis pitched pretty well in the Atlantic League (Independent) in 2013, with a 2.57 ERA in 87 2/3 innings. That led to a short stint with Salt Lake City (Pacific Coast League), where Willis had an ERA of 6.43 with 14 walks allowed in 21 innings.

And if that doesn’t excite you, maybe the latest update on the Dodgers and Tanaka will make you feel a little better.

Glad to see the Dodgers have decided to play fair and show some frugality, for a change. As Nightengale continues to backtrack, his next tweet will probably read something like, “The Dodgers are a baseball team and Tanaka plays baseball. Possible fit there.”