Alright, music video is probably a stretch, but we’re having an extremely difficult time mining good things from this six-game road trip from the section of I-580 from Dublin to Livermore (otherwise known as HELL). We had a great time playing Giants Bingo last night at Northstar Cafe (photos and a full report coming tomorrow) even though that game was horrible, but for the most part this road trip was a conglomeration of terrible baseball and ineffective team meetings.

Bruce Bochy doesn’t call many pow-wows, but he held one in Colorado. Nothing happened. The team is still playing like they just got back from Burning Man. Bochy tried to team-meeting the guys out of their malaise, and he spent the dugout media session before today’s 5-0 loss talking up the starting pitchers. And they still lost 5-0 on Sunday and dropped three of four to a team they used to pummel with regularity.

The problem? Bochy’s the only guy with swag right now — to the point where he’s got too much and he isn’t being generous with the rest of the team. Carmen Kiew and Daniel Zarchy of GiantsPod (who chose “Careless Whisper” as the musical accompaniment) captured it perfectly.

Maybe it’s just me who thinks this is perfect, because I sat outside and watched Bay to Breakers “runners” stumble by our apartment building, and at least three guys looked like they were dressing up as 1980s/90s George Michael without trying.

Speaking of B2B, here’s a story that’s perfect for today, because nobody really wants to read about how and why the Giants are floundering.

(Kids, this is PG-13 … so be forewarned)

We set up shop in the garage, with water balloons and a hose at the ready in case people tried urinating anywhere within 50 feet of our residence. Two people, a guy and a girl, walked past on the other side of the street while wearing ostrich costumes. After some stumbling, they attempted some clumsy public sex against the building across from us, and my wife grabbed a balloon and tagged the guy on the back like Colin Kaepernick hitting Michael Crabtree on a comeback route.

Except, instead of a catch and run like you’d expect from Kaep-to-Crab, the balloon exploded on the guy’s back and foiled his mission (the girl didn’t seem all that interested, so this was probably for the best). “You throw like a girl,” he said. Technically, he was right.