Anthony Randolph

Shaq dealt, is Nash next?

I can’t wait for the NBA Draft, because I want to see if it can possibly measure up to the preamble. David Stern gets his dream trade, as Shaquille O’Neal and LeBron James will be teammates next season.

The big question isn’t if Shaq will get his chance to give Kobe Bryant a final “How’s my ass taste” by beating him in the Finals next June. There are a lot of player moves yet to be made before we make that prediction (although the Lakers pretty much have to bring back both Trevor Ariza and Lamar Odom now). No, it’s just how unbelievably long the Cavs’ pregame intros and choreographed “team photo” routine will become with Shaq trying to out-dance LeBron when Gund Arena’s lights are low. Oh, there’s LeBron doing the running man! Wait, did Shaq just do the worm?

Anyway, Phoenix sure went and gave up, didn’t they? That’s good news for the Warriors, one more team out of the playoff picture. Maybe if the Suns are going into full-on rebuilding mode they’ll decide to keep the younger Stoudemire and build around him with Monta Ellis. Steve Kerr’s friends with Tom Tolbert, maybe Tolbert can convince his old buddy Kerr to trade Nash for Monta after July 1 (when Monta’s Base Year Compensation status expires).

How stoked would Corey Maggette be? Or Ant Randolph, who apparently just gained three pounds (OF PURE MUSCLE) while you were reading this?

Alright, I’m not making any sense right now. It’s late, and I just found out there’s probably going to be a new, larger puppet in those shoe commercials next season. Even Kerr — who traded Shawn Marion for Shaq, thinking his team would then show a brand new commitment to defense — wouldn’t pair Monta and Leandro Barbosa. At least I don’t think he would.

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