Brian Westbrook

The Dodgers are such biters lately

Until today, it was tough to imagine that the words “flattery” and “signed Eugenio Velez” could be used in the same sentence. But when it’s the Dodgers going after yet another 2010 San Francisco Giant, it applies. The Dodgers simply cannot stop themselves from raiding their rival to the north, and while every league has their own copycats when it comes to rebuilding their teams during the off-season, the Dodgers’ jealousy of the Giants is abnormally blatant.

Really, this is like Lady Gaga copying Madonna, Ja Rule stealing Tupac’s “sensitive thug” routine, or Whitesnake ripping off Led Zeppelin (although to be honest, I LOVED Whitesnake in sixth grade and listened to their self-titled album while going to sleep at night more times than I could count — which may explain a lot about my personality to this day … let’s move on).

The Dodgers are really, really insecure. Is it just the Giants’ recent World Series win, the fact that Ned Colletti wants to replicate what his former team did or are the Dodgers new kids of divorced parents (Frank and Jamie McCourt) who are struggling to make sense of the world? They try to sign Aubrey Huff, they give a year too many to Juan Uribe, now they’re taking a flier on Velez?

This trend of NL West teams bitin’ the Giants is getting old. The Rockies used to acquire all the Giants’ former catchers (Jeff Reed, Steve Decker, Kirt Manwaring, Brent Mayne, Scott Servais, Bobby Estalella, Yorvit Torrealba). The Diamondbacks built their organizational structure around the Giants of my childhood (Matt Williams, Bob Brenly, Will Clark, Bob Melvin). The Padres tried to copy the Giants’ ballpark (hmmm, maybe that’s a stretch … and yeah, Giants probably wouldn’t have won their first title in San Francisco without longtime Padre Bruce Bochy … okay, bad example).

Where was I? Oh yes, the thieving Dodgers. After selling their souls for Mannywood and some fake dread money, the boys in blue have run out of ideas. Players bouncing back and forth between the two teams is nothing new, but to have so much poaching go on during one winter is kind of pathetic. Did you see the Giants go after any of the 1988 Dodgers? Nope. Yeah, they signed Orel Hershiser nine years later, after three years with the Indians. And that sucked beyond belief. I don’t think a lot of Giants fans got over Orel donning the orange and black until Brian Wilson struck out Nelson Cruz.

C’mon L.A. Get an identity. Build your own team. Stop stealing GM’s, jazz hands and Count Choculas. It’s not a good look. The Giants and their fans are flattered by your recent attentions toward the championship squad in San Francisco and how it’s put together, but don’t feel so bad about yourselves. Sure, you haven’t won a title in a while, and your parents aren’t together anymore, but that means you get to celebrate Christmas and/or Hanukkah twice this year. You’ll figure out how to win playoff series someday, you’ll see!

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