ku-mediumHi. Nice to see you here. Although I don’t know why you’d want to read more about the Giants right now, but I  have some theories:

  • You love pain
  • You are a Dodgers fan
  • You are studying various ways of how life can be terrible and need more info

In any case, I wanted this to be a quick reference guide for how terrible things have been going for the Giants. A more in-depth look will be provided by the wonderful @LOLKNBRCallers, but this will serve if you just want something at random to complain about. For example:

Your Friend: “Ugh! I got laid off today!”

You: “Yeah well the Giants: (fill in the blank with anything from the below list)

(Note: List is in no particular order – not necessarily listed from awful to more awful) 

  • Angel Pagan is on the DL until September because of a now-tainted inside-the-park home run 
  • Ryan Vogelsong on the 60-day DL after breaking his pinkie on his best outing of the year
  • Scutaro will have a Mallet Finger 4 Life
  • An epic Hunter Pence slump (including multiple FPOM and gangly strike outs)
  • Brandon Belt’s 0-for-8 with 5 strike outs on the only time he’s ever batted 3rd in a major league lineup (aka Platinum Sombrero)
  • Our best defender, Brandon Crawford, botches a routine ground ball to lose the game in the 16th inning for the Giants
  • Chad Gaudin gets charged for “lewdness” after groping a woman in the ER  (henceforth to be known as “Bad Gaudin”)
  • Santiago Casilla knee surgery and DL-stint
  • Santiago Casilla having some pretty awful pitching meltdowns during his rehab assignments in San Jose
  • Jeremy Affeldt being terrible
  • Yasiel Puig being great at baseball
  • Joaquin Arias’ emergency appendectomy
  • Being in last place
  • Being hella games under .500
  • Bruce Bochy’s brain fart with the newfangled electronic lineup card
  • Pablo Sandoval is Slumpy McSlumperson
  • Brandon Crawford jamming his finger on a base while attempting to steal
  • Giants having the worst road record in the National League
  • Barry Zito having the world’s largest road ERA (9.38 away vs. 2.45 home)
  • What is wrong with Matt Cain? Please fix him. Fix him right now.
  • Getting no-hit by Homer Bailey (embarrassment quotient is high for this one)
  • Sergio Romo getting shown up by Yasiel Puig and Hanley Ramirez after mocking them the day before
  • Hector Sanchez on the DL (although I see this less as rock bottom and more as, “eh.”)
  • George Kontos’ suspension was not reduced – he will be out the entire Padres series (#BullpenBlues)
  • Andres Torres fly ball routes scaring both adults and children
  • Having Zack Wheeler come back to SF to remind us of “the one that got away”
  • Living in constant fear that Brian Sabean will trade Kyle Crick for Bud Norris

Oh and from a BASG perspective, I’d like to add that the site was down for no reason for about an hour with Steve out of town. So that was fun.

If you think of anymore, leave them in the comments.

“Together We Hit Rock Bottom!”