Posey The ShowSpring Training is a time for optimism. That’s especially true this year in the Bay Area, with the Oakland Athletics coming off a division title and the San Francisco Giants bringing back almost everyone who helped them win their second World Series in three years. Unfortunately, neither team has much chance of making the playoffs … if you play a full season in franchise mode on MLB 13: The Show, that is.

According to The Show’s rankings (provided by Operation Sports, h/t to @gggiants), the Giants and the A’s aren’t just in the middle of the pack. They’re closer to the pathetic depths of Houston than they are to Detroit:

Overall Team Rating

  • 1. Detroit Tigers
  • 2. St. Louis Cardinals
  • 3. Boston Red Sox
  • 4. Los Angeles Angels
  • 5. Toronto Blue Jays
  • 6. Texas Rangers
  • 7. Washington Nationals
  • 8. Atlanta Braves
  • 9. Cincinnati Reds
  • 10. Philadelphia Phillies
  • 11. New York Yankees
  • 12. Los Angeles Dodgers
  • 13. Colorado Rockies
  • 14. Chicago White Sox
  • 15. Arizona Diamondbacks
  • 16. Tampa Bay Rays
  • 17. San Francisco Giants
  • 18. Oakland Athletics
  • 19. Kansas City Royals
  • 20. Milwaukee Brewers
  • 21. Baltimore Orioles
  • 22. Pittsburgh Pirates
  • 23. Seattle Mariners
  • 24. Cleveland Indians
  • 25. San Diego Padres
  • 26. Minnesota Twins
  • 27. Chicago Cubs
  • 28. New York Mets
  • 29. Miami Marlins
  • 30. Houston Astros

Many so-called experts believe the Dodgers are the favorites to win the National League West, and some think the D-Backs could make some noise. But behind the Rockies, who lost 98 games in 2012? Really? As Jacob Sundstrom said, apparently there’s “no humidor in that game.”

In video game land, the A’s are a spot higher in than the Giants in their division, as they have more pixelated talent than the Mariners and Astros (who are predicted by almost everyone to lose somewhere between 100 and 155 games this season). Like the Giants, Oakland is ranked below five teams that finished .500 or worse in 2012.

While video game rankings are interesting — there are several articles devoted to the weekly score increases/decreases on Madden during every NFL season — they don’t take into account real world variables like Bernie Leans and Hunter Pence speeches. To get a better idea of how The Show came up with these totally BIASED rankings, here’s how the teams score in different phases of the game:

Team Batting

  • 1. Detroit Tigers
  • 2. Los Angeles Angels
  • 3. Colorado Rockies
  • 4. Boston Red Sox
  • 5. Texas Rangers
  • 6. Toronto Blue Jays
  • 7. Cincinnati Reds
  • 8. St. Louis Cardinals
  • 9. Washington Nationals
  • 10. Los Angeles Dodgers
  • 11. New York Yankees
  • 12. Atlanta Braves
  • 13. Philadelphia Phillies
  • 14. Milwaukee Brewers
  • 15. Baltimore Orioles
  • 16. Arizona Diamondbacks
  • 17. Chicago White Sox
  • 18. Kansas City Royals
  • 19. Oakland Athletics
  • 20. Pittsburgh Pirates
  • 21. Cleveland Indians
  • 22. San Francisco Giants
  • 23. Seattle Mariners
  • 24. Tampa Bay Rays
  • 25. Miami Marlins
  • 26. New York Mets
  • 27. San Diego Padres
  • 28. Minnesota Twins
  • 29. Chicago Cubs
  • 30. Houston Astros

Team Pitching

  • 1. Philadelphia Phillies
  • 2. Washington Nationals
  • 3. Atlanta Braves
  • 4. St. Louis Cardinals
  • 5. Tampa Bay Rays
  • 6. New York Yankees
  • 7. Toronto Blue Jays
  • 8. Los Angeles Dodgers
  • 9. San Francisco Giants
  • 10. Boston Red Sox
  • 11. Cincinnati Reds
  • 12. Texas Rangers
  • 13. Detroit Tigers
  • 14. Los Angeles Angels
  • 15. Arizona Diamondbacks
  • 16. Oakland Athletics
  • 17. Chicago White Sox
  • 18. Kansas City Royals
  • 19. San Diego Padres
  • 20. Seattle Mariners
  • 21. Cleveland Indians
  • 22. Pittsburgh Pirates
  • 23. Colorado Rockies
  • 24. Milwaukee Brewers
  • 25. Baltimore Orioles
  • 26. Chicago Cubs
  • 27. Minnesota Twins
  • 28. New York Mets
  • 29. Houston Astros
  • 30. Miami Marlins

Team Defense

  • 1. New York Yankees
  • 2. Los Angeles Dodgers
  • 3. Los Angeles Angels
  • 4. Tampa Bay Rays
  • 5. Cincinnati Reds
  • 6. Philadelphia Phillies
  • 7. Atlanta Braves
  • 8. Chicago Cubs
  • 9. Baltimore Orioles
  • 10. San Francisco Giants
  • 11. Texas Rangers
  • 12. Washington Nationals
  • 13. Colorado Rockies
  • 14. St. Louis Cardinals
  • 15. Boston Red Sox
  • 16. Kansas City Royals
  • 17. Arizona Diamondbacks
  • 18. San Diego Padres
  • 19. Detroit Tigers
  • 20. Houston Astros
  • 21. Pittsburgh Pirates
  • 22. Cleveland Indians
  • 23. Seattle Mariners
  • 24. Oakland Athletics
  • 25. Miami Marlins
  • 26. Toronto Blue Jays
  • 27. Minnesota Twins
  • 28. Milwaukee Brewers
  • 29. Chicago White Sox
  • 30. New York Mets

Huh. As much as I’d like to, it’s hard to quibble with those rankings. Sure, the Giants could be a better offensive team in 2013 with a full (hopefully better) season from Pence, a healthy Pablo Sandoval and incremental improvements from youngsters like Brandon Belt and Brandon Crawford. However, San Francisco also hit the fewest home runs in the Majors last year. The A’s pitched extremely well last season, but they lost Brandon McCarthy and there’s a chance their young rotation could take a step back.

Brian Sabean often mentions how the Giants are set up to succeed in their pitching-rich division, where the teams seem to play a ton of 1- and 2-run games. However, that doesn’t really matter when two gamers are battling each other on a Playstation 3.

Individually, 17 players were given a rating of 99 on MLB 13 (44 players were rated at 99 last year). The only member of the Giants or A’s who had the game’s highest possible score is Buster Posey. The Angels have three: Josh Hamilton, Albert Pujols and Mike Trout.

Last season, MLB 12: The Show highlights were often shown on the AT&T Park videoboard as individual Giants were announced (including a terrible facial rendition of Nate Schierholtz, if I remember correctly). With these rankings creating super-important bulletin board material that Bruce Bochy and Bob Melvin will surely use to motivate their respective teams, we might see players shaking angry fists at giant HDTVs if either the Giants or A’s repeat that practice in 2013.