Matt Cain

This just in: Ohio State isn’t that great

Had enough?

I’m not talking to the Buckeyes, I’m talking to everybody who keeps wanting to watch them play the top teams in college football.

I’m so sick of Ohio State, and not just because I hate college football. Every year they feast on a cake schedule, get to a huge bowl game and get rolled. Well, maybe not every year, but since sports is on a three-hour cycle these days, doing anything two years in a row pretty much means you do it all the time.

This time the Buckeyes decided to challenge themselves early, and even though they were double-digit underdogs, the national media wasn’t so sure.

“This line should be 3.5 or 4,” said Colin Cowherd, who we all know sucks. You ruled the radio waves in Portland, dude. Congrats. But he wasn’t the only one spouting off about the greatness of The Ohio State University this week, with little tidbits such as these:

Ohio State has a great front seven!

Terrelle Pryor is the best athlete to ever play in college! He’s like Reggie Bush and Tim Tebow put together, didn’t you know?

USC may be fast, but that’s no substitute for good old Big 10 smashmouth football! Ten yards and a cloud of dust, that’s what I say.

And what happened? They got drilled by USC tonight, 35-3. Why does Ohio State keep fooling the rest of the country? Is it because they have all those stickers on their helmets? Is it Jim Tressel’s magical sweatervest?

My guess is it’s because Michigan’s terrible, and since people feel like teams in the Midwest are inherently tougher (why the NFC North is always thought of as the black-and-blue division, even though as far as I know the Detroit Lions have been a part of that group for as long as I can remember), Ohio State’s Big 10 supremacy gives them V.I.P. access and more respect than they’ve ever actually earned. Hopefully tonight changed things, at least a little.

— Even though I’ve never been a USC backer I still call Eureka, CA my hometown, so I couldn’t help but smile tonight when Eureka High’s own Rey Maualuga intercepted a Todd Boeckman pass and took it 48 yards to the house. If Sara Bareilles is Eureka’s musical celebrity, Maualuga is going to fill the same role in the NFL.

— Breaking news: Tim Lincecum just threw 138 pitches to finish his first complete game shutout, a 7-0 win over the Padres at Petco. In fact, tonight was Lincecum’s first complete game at any level.

Make no mistake, this was a Cy Young push. The only real blemish on Lincecum’s resume when put against C.C. Sabathia and Brandon Webb is that Lincecum hasn’t gone the distance. Well, he did tonight against the Padres to push his record to 17-3, and he struck out twelve in the process.

My question is: what changed the Giants’ philosophy? Why were Bruce Bochy and the Giants so careful with Lincecum over the first five months of the season, but in his last four starts allowed him to reach 132, 92 (in five innings at Colorado), 127 and 138 pitches?

If you link it, Lincecum

— What happened to Matt Cain? (McCovey Chronicles)

— Never thought I’d see this: a Celtics blogger trying to convince himself that bringing Sam Cassell (or as Steve Weinman calls him in this column, the Alien) back into the fold. (Celticsblog)

— The rumor that Sarah Palin had an affair while married? Who cares. The fact Palin said she was a Steelers fan since the 1970s to pick up votes in Pennsylvania when she actually joined a Seahawks fan club “two or three years ago,” that’s news! This means she’s not only a sports bigamist, she jinxed Seattle’s chances of winning the Super Bowl. Ah, who cares. (Kissing Suzy Kolber)

— The Bay Area was able to get Lon Simmons into the Baseball Hall of Fame. Now it’s time to do the same for Bill King. Follow the link to vote. (Fear the Beard)

— Wanna see Cal’s Jahvid Best puke green stuff on Youtube? Sure ya do! (Deadspin)

— If you have any Texans or Ravens in your fantasy lineup this week, why are you reading this blog? Now they aren’t playing each other until Nov. 9 due to the damage Hurricane Ike inflicted on Reliant Stadium, so you better find some replacements, stat…no pun intended. No, really. OK, maybe a little. (SportsbyBrooks)

— Will Bill Belichick prove he doesn’t need Tom Brady to win? I don’t know, but I now know that new Pats starter Matt Cassel (no relation to the Alien mentioned a few links ago) last started for the Chatsworth High Chancellors. I don’t know what’s funnier, that he comes from the town in the Valley best known for, um, adult video production, or that according to the dictionary, their mascot is a “chief administrative officer of a university.” Wouldn’t the Chatsworth Fluffers be more appropriate? Or the Chatsworth Moneyshots? OK, I’m done. (Slate)

— Any current top 50 list of NBA players that puts Monta Ellis (7) ahead of Baron Davis (9) or Amir Johnson (10) over Paul Pierce (20) is, by definition, awesome. (Free Darko)

— I’m not the only one who thinks the 49ers can beat the Seahawks. (Niners Nation)

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