Bay Area Sports Guy – Tim Lincecum – hair today, gone tomorrow

Get it? Cause it’s a pun on Tim Lincecum’s haircut.

You know baseball news is slow when Andrew Baggarly is reporting on the length of Tim Lincecum’s hair:

About 2 weeks ago, a picture surfaced of a Tim Lincecum-looking person but with remarkably shorter hair:

Given how many hipster nerds with glasses there are roaming the streets and the questionable quality of the picture, we can’t be sure that this is indeed our beloved two-time Cy Young award winner. Then this picture appeared on the interwebs:

From this photo, we can probably deduce a few things:

This is the same person as seen in the original picture – same hoodie, same hair, same glasses
Based on the quality of the photo, the photographer probably took this picture with a 1998 Motorola Razr
Despite the camera technology, the photographer is probably not Brian Sabean

Now with two photos floating out there, can we be sure that The Freak chopped off his luscious locks? Well … not so fast:

Does Tim Lincecum wear glasses? I don’t think I’ve ever seen him wear anything but sunglasses
Believe it or not, it’s actually pretty difficult to find pictures of Timmy with short hair WITHOUT a baseball cap or beanie on, even when you do this Google Image Search: “Tim Lincecum Short Hair No Hat.” HOWEVER, I was able to find this little number:

See how the hair stands up and isn’t styled in a nerdy semi bowlcut/mini pompadour? The styling in the new photos are really off from “Original Short Hair Timmy”

At first glance, I was absolutely convinced that the new pictures of Short Hair Timmy were in fact, Tim Lincecum. However, upon closer inspection (and after sobering up a little), I’m starting to think it was just some Silicon Valley nerdling who gets chicks by looking kinda-sorta like Tim Lincecum. It wouldn’t be the first time someone tried to profit from looking like the Giants’ two-time Cy Young winner.

In any case, I really like to bring the hard-hitting breaking news to you guys, so I’ve texted his high school friend who he hasn’t talked to in over five years with the pictures to confirm his identity. I’m sure we can trust that whatever he texts back will be accurate.

If that fails, I work with his third cousin, 17 times removed, so I will also bring this to his attention to try to get you an answer.

I’ll keep you posted. In the meantime, enjoy this epic Tim Lincecum GIF:

DeafwriterJC

Like Brian Wilson's beard is patented (trademarked) so that others cannot profit off his "Fear the Beard" thing, Lincecum's long hair is probably patented too. I don't know what the fine wording on Lincecum's patent contract says, but even if he cuts his hair, people cannot profit off his long hair look but a least Lincecum gets a cut of all profits because it is probably patented. Now the logic is this: why would he cut his hair if he can make a profit from his long hair? A. He might have a new girlfriend who insisted him to get a haircut, patent or not. B. Maybe he got the haircut to reverse the curse of his off-year. C. Maybe he is tired of people treating him like he is still a teenager. D. Maybe he is trying to stop people from offering him marijuana just because of his long hair. E. Maybe he hired a double to ward off stalkers, spooky people, autograph hounds, and huckster agents. F. Maybe he cut his hair because he lost a bet with someone. G. Maybe he was afraid of being labeled as "eccentric" as others deem Brian Wilson to be. H. Maybe he just started playing flag football and got tired of getting his hair grabbed instead of his flags. I. Maybe he got tired of people yelling "hey girl" only for them to find out he is not when he turns his head. J. Maybe he is in training to become an astronaut and is required to cut his hair. K. Maybe he is tired of being recognized everywhere and cutting his hair helps him to disguise himself. L. Maybe his windy balcony with his long hair blocks his view of the city, so he cut his hair so he can avoid an obstructed view. O. Maybe he got caught with PEDs and is preparing to enter a court room to face a grand jury. No wonder why he is so good as a pitcher. P. Perhaps he is seeking to add an extra spin to his curveball by cutting his hair. Q. Maybe he is tired of finding hair in his food, homecooked or eating out. R. Maybe he is tired of veterans calling him a "rookie" because of the long hair, so he cut it to attain veteran status. S. Maybe he is tired of the obstructed view of the pitcher's mound from the bullpen when he warms up as a relief pitcher because of his long hair. T. Maybe grey hair appeared in his hair, and he cut his hair to keep it looking brown. U. Maybe he is tired of regurgitating the hairballs from his long hair, fishing out strands of long hair from his mouth. V. Maybe he is tired of cleaning his bathtub of strands of long hair, he figured cutting his hair would do the trick. W. Maybe he is tired of seeing his kitchen floor resemble a barber shop floor. X. Maybe he is tired of young fans touching his hair or pulling it as he signs autographs. Y. Maybe he wants to start buying his beer without being forced to show his ID. Z. Maybe he became a Mormon.

11 comments

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Duck Duck Gray Duck

Pretty much looks like actor Joseph Gordon Levitt. See photos side by side here: http://wp.me/p2PhR-2IO

Stan

TODAY IS THE END OF THE WORLD. And you people are worried about Tim Lincecum's haircut??? (i stole that from yahoo-cracked me up)

InquisitaB

I'm not buying this. The profile picture where his body is visible seems to be a guy who is a lot smaller than Lincecum. Don't forget that Lincecum is not as wiry as a lot of people think.

he looks even smaller/thinner w/o hairs !

Tru

I prefer the Cowgill/Lincecum GIF, personally. If that is him, it's not a flattering look. He's lost the "Dazed and Confused" vibe that came with the long hair.

Paperback Writer

Maybe his GF likes it - if it helps him become Cy Timmy - keep a razor handy, if not, it may be reverberations from Brian Wilson's act getting panned and dissed by management. Otherwise, it's his hair he gets to wear it how he likes ( and if he doesn't like the haircut - Timmy Wigs are ever present. LOL.)

Yowzers. slow sports news these days ;)

Otis Byrd III

I guess we will find out at Giants Fanfest and/or in Spring Training if this is really Lincecum or not. If he really did cut his hair, it will be weird seeing him with short hair again. Maybe he wanted to change back to his old look that he had when he first got called up to the Giants in 2007.

Not him. Tim doesn't have a receding hairline like this guy. I say the photo is of a guy 35-38 years old. Post Adrien Brody and say THAT'S Tim..the resemblance is closer.