Damon Bruce

Tim Lincecum taken out of New York hotel on a stretcher

We’re not going to have to hear about Tim Lincecum having a Josh Hamilton-esque return from addiction in three years are we?

Surely not, but KNBR’s Damon Bruce just got a call from a Giants PR guy saying Lincecum missed last night’s festivities due to the ever-so-common affliction of “flu-like symptoms.”

Chances are Lincecum is fine, even though Bruce is reporting that Lincecum was taken out of his hotel on a hospital stretcher with symptoms of “dehydration.” Nothing new or sordid came up on a Lincecum Google News search, besides that he likes to eat meals while squatting from time to time, and Bruce also just reported that the Giants PR staffer who called in earlier insists that Lincecum wasn’t partying or anything, but nobody knows anything about this.

Looks like we won’t be seeing Timmy pitch tonight in the Midsummer Classic, which puts the National League in a tough spot with Brandon Webb announcing he’s unavailable and Kerry Wood getting replaced with the suddenly awful Carlos Marmol.

Nobody around here cares about the National League possibly losing the All Star Game for the eleventh time in the past twelve decisions. Hopefully Lincecum is just feeling a little under the weather for innocent reasons, and he when he gets back to San Francisco he won’t have flame tattoos covering up track marks on his arms.

Update: Fitz and Brooks producer Mike Holer just interrupted Bruce to announce that a “National League Official” said that Lincecum was taken to the hospital with a bad flu, nothing more. Hopefully Lincecum doesn’t lose too much weight, otherwise he’ll be 145 pounds by his next start.

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