Editor’s note: After the Warriors and Kyrylo Fesenko parted ways, they set their sights a little lower for some free agent help … in a sense. And at BASG, we couldn’t be happier, because that enables us to look back at my wife’s best college story.
See, she knew Nate Robinson before he went to the NBA, before winning Slam Dunk titles, before wearing Shaq’s shoes and running suicides. Back when Robinson was a Husky who was as curious as a cat.
At University of Washington, all athletes were required to live in the dorms their first year at school. Most of them were redshirts, so their egos allowed them to mix and mingle with us non-athlete Huskies. For some reason, the oldest and most poorly named dorm at UDub, Haggett Hall, held most of the athletes. This is also where I lived my freshman year and got into no trouble whatsoever – I promise, Mom!
On my floor, there were several athletes. Robin Meadow was an offensive lineman for the Huskies who was named to the Freshman All-Pac-10 Team in 2001. I don’t think he plays for the NFL now, but he was a big funny guy who reminded me of Andre the Giant. Because of this, I had to act out on my Princess Bride fantasy of getting an Andre the Giant piggyback ride and poor Robin toted me all around the dorm. He was strong but not too fast and would constantly say, “No more Liz!” It was fun all the same. For me anyway.
I later was introduced to Nate Robinson once I started dating a guy who lived next door to Nate’s dorm room. Even at 18, Nate had a Napoleon complex. My boyfriend at the time couldn’t walk to his dorm room without Nate barking some order at him. As little as he was, Nate was intimidating, and I could tell my boyfriend was a little scared. The favorite and most constant request that Nate would shout out was, “Hey! Fix my DVD player!” I don’t know why Nate thought that my scrawny little boyfriend could fix a DVD player but he always asked, and my boyfriend’s shaky response was always, “Sorry, I don’t know how … err … umm.” Then Nate would smile real big at me and then let us go on our way.
One night after a night out on UW’s Frat Row, my boyfriend and I headed back to his dorm room and — as always — passed by Nate’s room. His door was open and he and some of the players on the Husky basketball team were hanging out. We passed his dorm without any DVD mechanic requests which seemed to give my boyfriend an unexpected boost of confidence. Once safely inside his dorm, we devised a plan to mess with Nate.
The thing about the Haggett Hall dorm rooms was that all of them were shaped like an octagon. So while the windows never faced a part of the building, there was a vent in every dorm room that faced the vent in the dorm room next door. We stood up on my boyfriend’s bed to get as close as possible to the vent facing Nate’s dorm room. Once close enough, we proceeded to moan and make very loud fake sexual noises. They were loud and exaggerated and definitely would have made even Jenna Jameson a little impressed. It became absolutely silent in Nate Robinson’s room as my boyfriend and I slid down into the bed and started laughing. The laughing stopped when we heard a loud bang on his door.
“Hey! You! Let me in there!” followed by more banging on the door.
It was Nate trying to get in to see what was going on. My boyfriend and I froze – were our fake sex sounds that realistic or are those the kind of “real” noises Nate gets out of his special lady friends?
Nate continued to shout and we could see him trying to see into the room through the other side of the peephole.
We finally opened the door, and in a very brave moment for my boyfriend, he replied, “Nate, really, there’s nothing going on in here. It was just a joke.”
To which Nate mockingly replied, “Hey man, I may have been born at night, but I wasn’t born last night!” Then Nate went back to his room and continued partying with his teammates.
Every time I saw Nate after that, he was all smiles toward me. I wonder what he thinks he saw in that reversed peephole?