Colin Kaepernick Alex Boone 3Today is known as “Black Friday.” Such a funny term for a day when hordes of bargain-obsessed shoppers act like sheep in hopes of getting a deal off toys and off-brand televisions. $10 off a Furby? I don’t even know what a Furby is but gimmeeeeeeee.

Just kidding, I’d rather watch a Glee marathon or knock heads with Alex Boone than wade through a department store mosh pit in hopes of getting “deals” on unnecessary crap. I’d much rather slide into the weekend and put my turkey-binge high to good use, like discussing things that probably have no chance of happening. Like the headline above, for instance!

While EXTREMELY unlikely, it’s still possible that the 49ers could host a playoff game.

Anything can happen in the world of sports, but looking ahead is strictly forbidden inside the 49ers’ meeting rooms.

From Jim Harbaugh’s most recent press conference (Nov. 27):

Q: If you guys reach the playoffs it’s looking like it won’t be an easy road. You’ll most likely be a Wild Card team going on the road. Looking at that potential challenge, is any of that appealing to you?

Harbaugh: The challenge and the task is the Rams.

Right. That’s the correct mindset for guys who actually have to do all the work instead of just watch and write about the games. But what if the smart approach leads to the 49ers winning out?

  • Sunday, Dec. 1 vs. St. Louis
  • Sunday, Dec. 8 vs. Seattle
  • Sunday, Dec. 15 @ Tampa Bay
  • Monday, Dec., 23 vs. Atlanta
  • Sunday, Dec. 29 @ Arizona

All of those games are winnable for San Francisco, but they could lose any one of them. Well, except for the game against the Falcons. The 49ers aren’t losing the last game at Candlestick to a team that’s lost their last five games by double digits. At least they’d better not, or riots would ensue. However, the 49ers could lose on Sunday to a suddenly hot Rams team that gave San Francisco a lot of trouble last year, and the Bucs came really close to beating the Seahawks at home a few weeks back. Then there’s the Cardinals, who the 49ers are realistically battling over the last five games for a playoff spot.

The Seahawks are way off in the distance, but just for fun …

  • Monday, Dec. 2 vs. New Orleans
  • Sunday, Dec. 8 @ San Francisco
  • Sunday, Dec. 15 @ NY Giants
  • Sunday, Dec. 22 vs. Arizona
  • Sunday, Dec. 29 vs. St. Louis

If the Saints don’t do their job and beat the Seahawks (which would be Seattle’s first home loss since the 49ers won 19-17 at CenturyLink on Dec. 24, 2011), the idea behind this ridiculous post is null and void. But if Drew Brees goes to Seattle and finishes the job where Mike Glennon couldn’t, things could get interesting … provided the 49ers beat the Seahawks a week later, of course.

If THAT happens, and assuming the 49ers took care of business against the Rams, San Francisco would still be a game behind with three to play. If the 49ers win out (stay with me), and Seattle loses one of their last two games, both teams would be 12-4 and the 49ers would win the NFC West tiebreaker based on each team’s record within the division (49ers would be 5-1, while Seattle would be 4-2).

Then again, if the Seahawks go 2-3 over their last five games and one of those losses is to the Cardinals, that could muck things up quite a bit.

Arizona’s remaining games:

  • Sunday, Dec. 1 @ Philadelphia
  • Sunday, Dec. 8 vs. St. Louis
  • Sunday, Dec. 15 @ Tennessee
  • Sunday, Dec. 22 @ Seattle
  • Sunday, Dec. 29 vs. San Francisco

The Cardinals would lose any divisional tiebreaker, since they’ve already dropped three games to NFC West opponents. But if Arizona and San Francisco both win their next four games, and Seattle goes 2-3 the rest of the way, the loser of the last game of the season in Glendale would miss the playoffs. That is, unless the 8-3 Carolina Panthers — who face New Orleans twice over their last five games — finish 11-5 or worse.

Great, now we’re all dizzy. And probably all for nothing, since the Seahawks will probably finish at least a game ahead of everyone in the division and the 49ers will have to battle for the wild card with the Cardinals — you know, like we all figured. But as wastes of time go, I’d much rather let my mind swim through the murky depths of unlikely playoff scenarios than fight the crowds at Best Buy.