While pretty much everyone from reporters to bloggers to radio yakkers wishes the overall Bay Area sports landscape would see a little beautification one of these years, you kind of get the feeling all this relative misery is right in Tim Kawakami’s wheelhouse.

In his ongoing smear campaign against Don Nelson and Robert Rowell, which is probably merited but perhaps not with the glee that Kawakami displays every time he writes about them, Kawakami drops one of the most depressing hypothetical situations in recent memory.

Even if the Warriors somehow end up with the No. 2 pick in the NBA Draft (a huuuuuuge longshot), Kawakami says the Warriors probably wouldn’t select Ricky Rubio (even though Rubio’s the ONLY player in the draft who could possibly make Monta Ellis a superstar, and would instantly become the only true point guard on the roster) because his agent is Dan Fegan. The same Fegan that represents Al Harrington and used a highly questionable tactic (read: fake injury) to get Harrington out of Oakland, leading the hard-headed tandem of Nellie and Rowell to presumably hate Fegan, his dog and (most importantly) everyone he represents.

Great. According to Kawakami if the Warriors move up to the No. 2 or 3 pick they’ll take some guy like James Harden (since Nellie’s frightened of freakishly tall players like Hasheem Thabeet), yet another combo guard who’ll fight with all the other swingmen for shots without playing a lick of defense. Oh well, at least Kawakami would have more ammo to fire at the Warriors’ brass.

Stumbling through a Hatton wonderland…

–That left hook Ricky Hatton took from Manny Pacquiao Saturday night would drive anyone to drink, and Hatton’s no different. If you want to see Hatton sitting by the pool and drinking as much Guinness as humanly possible a day after being on the business end of the best one-punch knockout in recent memory, here’s your chance. (TMZ)

–LeBron James not only gets a trophy and a little much-deserved press (poor guy’s so underexposed!) for winning the NBA MVP, he also wins…a Kia. And you laughed at those commercials featuring Tiger Woods driving a Buick. (SPORTSbyBROOKS)

–It looks like we’re on the road to Nuggets/Lakers and Cavs/Celtics. (Celticsblog)

–In drafting LSU DE Ricky Jean-Francois and bringing Purdue RB Kory Sheets to camp, Mike Singletary has shown early in his tenure that he isn’t afraid to bring in outspoken players. That’s a nice change from Mike Nolan, who ran Jamie Winborn off the 49ers’ roster for reasons that had nothing to do with football, then convinced the Broncos to release Winborn after becoming the Broncos’ defensive coordinator. (49ers Hot Read)

–In a post originally about Alex Smith, the most interesting tidbits here are actually about rookie TE Bear Pascoe (“more receiving ability…in two practices than I saw from Billy Bajema, the man he’s replacing, in four seasons”) and Josh Morgan, who along with Michael Crabtree might be the Niners’  “most explosive — and best — receivers.” (Instant 49ers)

–Randy Winn’s been pretty terrible lately — is it possible he’s hiding a pretty serious injury? (El Lefty Malo!)

–My buddy Mac turned me on to one of the greatest websites I’ve seen in a while. Where else can you read a page full of genius like, “from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.”? (Texts From Last Night)