No pressure, guys. You’re only fighting for the future of the city of Cleveland, professional sports in Ohio and world peace. Because if LeBron James can’t rally his band of teammates who worked their asses off all year while looking forward to the tough games where they could sit back and let their leader take over, the Cavaliers might not exist for much longer.
Cleveland’s population is shrinking. L. Bron Hubbard is already planning a Knicks uniform redesign as we speak (sources tell us the word “Knicks” will be replaced by a Swoosh … the sad thing is that while I’m joking now, I guarantee this will happen at some point in our lives). Without LeBron, the Cavaliers are less enticing to a paying customer than the Warriors are, and that isn’t even taking into account the pall that will fall over the team and the city after the King leaves. That will lead to incredibly diminished attendance next season and questionable financial viability with the impending work stoppage the next season, which may lead to the Cavs moving somewhere else like Seattle if the Timberwolves, Kings or Grizzlies don’t beat them to the punch.
Thanks a lot, Murph
— Since I walk to work now, I’ve gotten in the habit of listening to the KNBR morning show every day (not half bad most of the time, actually), and yesterday morning Brian Murphy predicted the Giants would lose every game this season to the Padres. So if you’re tired of saying these words in your attempts at Giants blamegaming (Bochy, DeRosa, Sabean, Eckstein, Panda or ESPN), you can blame the master jinxer who hosts that show next to the guy with the soundboard who clams up during interviews about sports.
— Hey Bengie, just because Henry Schulman backs you up doesn’t mean you need to piggyback and get all huffy-puffy. I got annoyed for a second after watching the SportsCenter clip of Bengie rounding third against the Marlins to “Chariots of Fire,” and then I realized how funny we’d all think this was if Bengie was on the Mets. You know, a New York team. Get over it, everyone. Just because ESPN acts like it’s run by Ben Affleck and Spike Lee doesn’t mean they can’t joke around a little.
— And to those wondering why SportsCenter is doing such a thing, remember when the show was actually good? With Dan Patrick and Keith Olbermann? And how they’d crack up whenever a NASCAR highlight came on and they could say where Dick Trickle finished? Jokes. That’s all. Everybody already thinks we’re a bunch of PC-obsessed pussies in San Francisco already. Let’s not add more fuel to the flame.
— How many tantrums is that for Bengie in the last three years, anyway? Four? Five? More? Hey, he’s one of the best morbidly obese catchers in the game right now, but does he always have to go public when peeved?
— So, Mat Latos, huh? So much for the Giants rallying to the defense of Dave Flemming’s luxury sedan (or whatever he drives…my guess is either a Lexus LS or one of those $80,000 Mercedes SUVs).
— For those who didn’t hear the story, apparently Latos tossed a baseball into the player’s parking lot in San Diego when the Giants were in town, and the ball smashed Flemming’s sunroof. This might get me blacklisted from Bay Area media forever (although that may already be the case), but that’s pretty damned funny.
— To all those pining for Buster Posey in the wake of Latos’ near perfect game to cap off the Padres’ second consecutive sweep of the Giants, a couple questions. Who is going to the bench to make room for Posey? If he isn’t ready to catch in the Majors now, when will he be?
— Conversely, if Triple-A pitching is so terrible, “especially from a pitching standpoint,” (like Brian Sabean thinks), then how will catching Triple-A pitchers make Posey better?
— The Giants keep signing injury-prone vets to multi-year deals. We all know that. But why? Probably because Sabean is still operating in a world where BALCO is a legal business that helps athletes recover faster and drug testing consists of asking the players to leave their Winstrol at home where the beat writers can’t see it. In a world where the chemical enhancement is at least checked slightly by drug testing, Sabez would be well-advised to remember that veterans take LONGER to recover from injuries, and often (gasp) never fully recover.
