Well, I finally got on this Twitter thing. I know, the only thing more tiring than listening to people talk about Twitter is people talking about how they finally gave up and jumped on the bandwagon. So if you’re into Twitter, I’m @BASportsGuy.
Alright, I’ll just go ahead and tell you why I got on. First of all, I use it for my work website and the thing is damn near magical. I’m running a website for accountants from scratch, with nobody knowing this site exists, and about a grand total of 4 hours on Twitter has boosted the site by about 900%. Then I heard Damon Bruce (another Twitter backtracker) say he had a very interesting Q&A from Lowell Cohn that he put on his page.
Yeah, Lowell Cohn. The guy is pretty amazing, isn’t he? He’s like the Bay Area’s version of Woody Allen, although he was persecuted for not being as Glenny Dickeyish as Glenn Dickey instead of getting in trouble for sleeping with his girlfriend’s adopted daughter.
(Side note: Woody Allen, Roman Polanski, Vincent Gallo…I’ve even heard from an unnamed source that Francis Ford Coppola is a little pervy, and his last movie starred Gallo. If I ever have a daughter, it’s tough to think of a worse occupation for her future boyfriend/husband than movie director. OK, maybe “strip club DJ,” but I can’t think of any others)
Back to the interview, which really is gold. First of all, Anthony Randolph won’t be starting. Corey Maggette will. Oh, that’s terrific. Now we have to wait until Maggette’s inevitable post-concussion syndrome to rear its head like Putin in Alaska (according to Mrs. “Going Rogue,” anyway) before Randolph collects more than 18 minutes per game. So much for drafting him in every fantasy draft this season, that’ll be more frustrating than having your fantasy football sleeper be Josh Morgan (not that anyone I know did that….crap).
Randolph has a bruised tailbone and a sore lower back, and Nellie had this frightening back-and-forth with Cohnie:
Nelson: I don’t think I have Randolph anyway. He’s really been hurting and he hasn’t been playing up to his potential for several weeks now.
Cohn: Because he’s hurt?
Nelson: I think so. I’m not sure. A lot of times guys take a step back before they go forward. I don’t know if it’s injury or it’s that situation.
God, I hope Randolph hasn’t become a Walnut Creek club guy. I hope Nellie’s doing his Nellie thing, seeing 20 sure ppg from Maggette, and not reacting to a new Randolph, a Randolph who really enjoys Grey Goose and 40-ouncers.
Because then we can blame Nellie for all this team’s troubles (along with Chris Cohan and R-squared), and at least the Warriors have a talented player we can count on.
Wait, what am I worried about? I saw Randolph go coast-to-coast against the Suns a couple weeks ago in a fashion that made Reggie Miller froth at the mouth. Nellie’s the same old Nellie, the guy who always falls back into old bad habits like starting Monta Ellis and C.J. Watson together and benching Randolph in favor of a guy who proved nothing last year besides the fact that he’s a much better 6th man than anything else he’s ever been on the court.
Even worse than people jabbering on and on about Twitter are the imbeciles who use “It is what it is” as a constant crutch whenever the subject turns somewhat negative. Just check this out, and keep in mind these words were spoken by a professional basketball coach who has a guaranteed contract through next year for more millions than any of us will ever see in our lifetimes.
Cohn: This year you have a chance to become the winningest coach. How do you feel about that?
Nelson: I don’t feel much about it. I’d like to get it out of the way so people would stop talking about it. Maybe I should take that as what it is. I really don’t know what it means, maybe that I’ve been around a long time. Won a lot of games. Lost a lot of games. It is what it is.
Cohn: You say that a lot, it is what it is.
Nelson: I do. Because that’s a fact. There’s only so much you can do.
Cohn: So “it is what it is” means “some things are out of my control.”
Nelson: There you go. Learn to be patient.
Good thing Warriors fans are the most patient fans on the planet who don’t root for middling English Premiere League teams. They’re going to need a lot of it this year. And next. And next…