Bobby Evans

Giants lose out on Lester, gain a quote machine

Bobby Evans SF Giants Parade

The Giants lost out on the Jon Lester sweepstakes before a winner was announced. Hardly a shock, since the Giants spent all day letting everyone down gently. Bobby Evans had a message to send in the early part of Tuesday: it’s nothing we did wrong, we were just unable to ignite a spark with Lester, a guy who still had chemistry with a couple of old flames: the Red Sox (the team that traded him to Oakland, half-expecting to get him back) and the Cubs (Theo, Theo, wherefore art thou Theo).

That Evans spent a good portion of his day lowering expectations seemed totally normal. Lester could very well get seven years if some of these reports are correct, and $150 million seems to be a baseline, not a ceiling. Even with SI’s Sportsman of the Year pitching more innings than the second, third and fourth starters combined in the postseason, the Giants weren’t likely to hand out a contract with a higher total value than Buster Posey’s $167 million, or a higher annual average value than Matt Cain’s $25.5 million, to an outsider.

After a few hours, the Giants came to the realization that they were completely out of the running for Lester, and Evans — usually Brian Sabean’s dutiful messenger — became Captain Catchphrase.

I would’ve preferred “Giants, please pack your knives and go,” but not everyone has the same taste in reality shows.

Kind of an old-fashioned phrase in the era of FasTrak, but OK.

Your mom. Just kidding, Evans seems like he’d be a decidedly G-rated comedian. Like Bill Cosby. Wait, bad example. Anyway, I’m sure what Evans was referring to was the National League West. No, that’s not it either. What could it be …

2014 San Francisco Giants World Series Parade

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