Barry Zito

I watched last night’s Tim Lincecum show … obviously

Have to say, I really enjoyed last night’s really mellow version of “Cribs” on CSN Bay Area, otherwise known as “A Day in the Life — Tim Lincecum.” (Alternate title: “My Ponytail is Cool, My Ponytail be Poppin’.”) Since a lot of you have already seen it, and Dave Tobener of Golden Gate Giants already did an excellent recap of the show for Yahoo’s Big League Stew, here are a few additional notes…

– Lincecum is a total bachelor. Put it this way — if he still has a girlfriend, she isn’t around much. About half the 30-minute episode took place in his Seattle high-rise apartment, which he calls, “Definitely a man place.” Cool view of the Space Needle and Puget Sound, which apparently means that Lincecum didn’t feel the need to hang anything on the walls. However, there was some furniture:

1. A huge sectional couch. (A total guy choice, as I know from experience. I proposed we get one of those wraparound couches instead of a matching couch and loveseat combo and my wife didn’t even respond, which is what happens whenever I bring up an idea that has no chance of being taken into consideration. Another piece of furniture women don’t particularly care for? Recliners.)

2. A really expensive pool table, which Timmy was really proud of. Here’s what he had to say:

Behind you is the pool table that I just had put in recently. I watched the guy literally put this … he brought in the table piece by piece. Every piece is bolted into another piece, which is bolted into another piece, and it’s like so reinforced.


3. A large black walnut dinner table, which allowed him to plug the store that made it (which is also in SF, Timmy reports).

– Lincecum says a couple things all the time: “obviously” and “not a lot going on.” Not sure if Jaymee Sire wanted Lincecum to constantly mention how there isn’t much going on in his apartment, but other than watching movies and playing videogames/pool, that’s probably pretty close to the truth. Sample quote, “Obviously the bathroom right here, obviously not much going on there … the shower and the toilet.”

– Besides the rivers of sweat that flow from his dome every time he pitches east of the Mississippi after May, there was more proof that Lincecum prefers a Pacific Northwest climate when he went out to his balcony and said, “It’s nice and cool out here all the time.” So he’s one of the three people in San Francisco who complain when there’s a heat wave and the temperature rises above 59 degrees.

– Lincecum has an entourage of one, apparently, and his name is Drew. Lincecum introduced his longtime buddy by saying, “Groupie guy over here, Drew. He’s over here a lot,” followed by Drew shrugging. It was nice of Drew to line up his shoes so neatly at the foot of the bed in the guestroom, though.

– Actually, make than an entourage of two. Cy, Lincecum’s French Bulldog, follows him around EVERYWHERE (hey, it beats having Turtle tug on his coattails, hoping he’ll tweet about some new kind of tequila). Cy’s definitely living large, though. Lincecum mentioned that he always eats out or orders in, sometimes two sandwiches at a time from a local sub place. Lincecum said that he eats one and saves the other one for later, but I have a feeling that he eats one and Cy gets the other (with Drew getting whatever crumbs are left over). Cy must get severely depressed when Lincecum goes on the road.

– Lincecum described his master bedroom as “where I lay my head down most of the time, if I don’t pass out (in the living room).” Yep, sleeping in the living room. Pretty sure that’s on the first page of the bachelor playbook. My wife hates it when I pass out in the living room, which is probably why she doesn’t like comfy sectional couches and/or recliners.

– If Lincecum had to do this show all over again, he probably would not open up the door to his laundry room. Or he’d at least pick up the dirty clothes that were on the floor before the TV crew came over. Another funny “not much going on in here” moment.

– I wonder if Red Bull appreciated that there were no visible cans of their nuclear soda in Timmy’s fridge, while there was about 50 bottles of Muscle Milk.

– When he played FIFA on PlayStation against Drew, Timmy picked Holland as his team. Do you think that’s because Holland wears orange like the Giants, or …. naaahhhh.

– He has grandiose plans of putting a chandelier in the empty light socket above the dinner table, turning a room that currently only has a couch and a TV for videogames and Pandora into a memorabilia room, and getting a place called “California Closets, or something like that” to help organize the 12 shirts and duffel bag he has in there currently. “I don’t know when I’m going to do it, right now obviously my focus is … (smiles) getting ready for the season.” Something tells me closet organizing services in the Seattle area shouldn’t be expecting a call anytime soon.

– Not only does Timmy still own the ’06 Mercedes he bought from Dave Roberts (the same car he was driving when he was busted for marijuana possession), he drove Jaymee Sire around the greater Seattle area for a good portion of the show in said car, mostly while singing along to ’80’s music, especially spirited renditions of “Out of Touch” (definitely the moment that his teammates will take from this show and use as ammo against him in the clubhouse).

– Sire definitely didn’t obey this request: “Don’t put any of my singing on there, actually, I don’t know, maybe a little bit, as long as the music’s drowning me out.”

– Maybe Sire asked this question and didn’t use the footage, but I would have had to have asked Lincecum where he stashed his stash that fateful morning outside of Portland, when he got gaffled by one time.

– I wish Lincecum would have gone into Rob Schneider mode (if you click the link, you have to check out the part 3 minutes in when Charles Barkley plays a cop) and said, “Hey Jamie, you see this little compartment under the armrest? You put your WEED in there!”

– The rest of the show consists of Lincecum playing around at Experience Music Project, eating pork tacos with Drew and a teriyaki bowl with Jaymee (IT’S NOT A DATE, WE’RE JUST FRIENDS), and visiting his old high school field.

– Lincecum said that the guys he hangs out with most on the team are Sergio Romo, Darren Ford (who stayed at Lincecum’s place after he get called up by the Giants), Barry Zito and Wilson. Unlike Wilson, Lincecum’s half-hour reality show (you can watch it here in three installments) didn’t feature nearly as many bottles of cologne or scenes where he holds court for minutes on end. Lincecum doesn’t mind being on television, but he doesn’t crave attention nearly as much as Wilson. Obviously.

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