Al Davis

Mike Singletary doesn’t wear suits for a reason

I know it’s a little late, but I had to at least mention Singletary dropping his pants.

I was in Tampa when the news came out, so all I heard about it was a little blurb on SportsCenter from a smirking Steve Levy. The scary thing about the future of Singletary’s tenure is not that he dropped his pants in the locker room at halftime last week against Seattle, or that either a player or some other team employee leaked the story to Mike Jurecki of Arizona’s XTRA-910 radio.

The most worrisome thing about Singletary dropping trou was that it didn’t surprise me one bit. Maybe it’s because it’s just the latest in an unprecedented string of embarrassing and/or juvenile behavior in Bay Area sports.

The Giants are still getting over the whole BALCO situation and its aftermath, the Warriors’ best player gets injured while riding a moped, Al Davis tried to single-handedly bring back the overhead projector while making a case not to pay a coach he fired, and now the 49ers are threatening to overshadow all of these ridiculous incidents in a season where the ceiling currently looks to be 5-11.

I have some questions about Singletary’s pants-off speech, and it doesn’t look like the local media has figured out the answers, at least upon early review.

1. Did Singletary drop just his khakis, or did the drawers make it down to his ankles as well?

2. Since Singletary said he did it in order to “illustrate that we were getting our tails whipped on Sunday and how humiliating that should feel for all of us.” So did he turn around and show the team his butt? Because there’s no way you can respect a man who turns around and points to his own rear end. It’s simply impossible.

3. If he actually spoke to the team with his pants down for three or four minutes as reported, how could Singletary actually think that what he was doing was a good idea? Sure, pull your pants down for a short time to make a point to your team (and boy, I really didn’t think I’d every type those words), but isn’t it overkill after a while? That brings me to my next question…

4. Was Singletary looking for a fight? What I mean is, did he stand there with his pants down for so long to see who would laugh first, so he could yell, “So, you think this is funny? You think my ass is funny? I’m Samurai Mike, Goddammit!!! I stop ’em cold!”

5. Was this the most “anal” motivation tactic a coach has used since Bob Knight came out of a bathroom stall holding his own soiled toilet paper? (Answer: depends on whether or not Singletary went Full Monty)

6. Who leaked the story? This is total speculation, but didn’t Bryant Johnson play for the Arizona Cardinals last season, and didn’t he just get replaced in the starting lineup by Josh Morgan? Or maybe it was Vernon Davis, J.T. Sullivan or Mike Martz, three guys who can’t be huge fans of Samurai Mike right now. Whoever did it, they provided a great service. In a year that seems to be bad and getting worse for the 49ers, Singletary’s antics are all fans really have for entertainment.

7. Taking into account the Danyelle Sargent interview out-take and the post-game press conference, had Singletary’s halftime display had been caught on tape he would have had a prominent or leading role in the best three video clips ever put together in a four-hour span, right?

None of these questions really need answers, though. All we know is that Singletary has dug himself a HUGE hole, and he hasn’t even had the job two weeks. When he sent Vernon Davis to the showers and made his “Can’t coach them” speech after losing to the Seahawks, there was hope that Singletary had made his mark, that the 49ers finally had a voice of leadership who by force of will would change the fortunes of this once proud franchise. Nope. The 49ers are just the latest Bay Area team to get caught with its pants down.

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