Andrew Bynum

NBA Tuesday: BASG Power Poll

NBA Tuesday: BASG Power Poll

It’s time for another NBA Power Poll, but first here’s the NBA-related rap lyric of the week, courtesy of the RZA on “Stroke of Death” from Ghostface’s classic Supreme Clientele.

“Tall like Karl Malone “Mailman”, framed on Larry Johnson”

Short and sweet, just how we like it. Remember the GZA once said, “Yo, too many songs, weak rhymes that’s mad long, make it brief son, half short and twice strong.” On to the poll!

1.  (2) Cleveland Cavaliers (50-13): As long as they hold home court, they’re the favorites in the East.

2.  (3) Los Angeles Lakers (50-13): Are they bored, tired or both? Bynum’s impending return is great news for those tired of watching D.J. Mbenga. Like me. Although I do enjoy watching him say “tacos.”

3.  (1) Boston Celtics (49-15): Dirty Gutty win against Cleveland, but can this team win a Game 7 in Cleveland? Not likely.

4.  (12) Utah Jazz (41-23): Crazy stat alert — Jazz have 11 wins in a row, and their only loss in the last 15 games was to the Warriors.

5.  (4) San Antonio Spurs (43-20): Drew Gooden doesn’t fit on this team.

6.  (5) Orlando Magic (46-17): Rafer Alston is like Jameer Nelson’s punk younger brother, even though he’s older…if that makes sense.

7.  (9) Houston Rockets (42-23): They’re good now that Tracy McGrady’s finally gone, but just imagine if they had traded T-Mac for Baron Davis at the deadline and Baron was rejuvenated to the same extent he was when the Hornets traded him to the Warriors. Thoughts like that make my head hurt.

8.  (6) Portland Trail Blazers (40-23): They can’t win on the road and Greg Oden is a total headcase who already hates Portland, but they’re awesome at home.

9.  (10) New Orleans Hornets (39-23): Very little depth, even with James Posey.

10. (8) Dallas Mavericks (39-25): Josh Howard’s latest ankle injury is simply the perfect capper to a great year for the NBA’s No. 1 patriot.

11. (14) Miami Heat (34-29): Dwyane Wade’s March averages (5 games): 38.2 ppg, 11.4 apg, 6.6 rpg, 59.3% FG, 58.3 % 3-PT, 3.4 spg, 1.2 bpg…and I picked Elton Brand ahead of him in the first round of one of my fantasy drafts. I will now bang my head repeatedly on my hardwood floor.

12. (13) Atlanta Hawks (36-28): Marvin Williams is out for weeks with a lower back injury, but Josh Childress should step ri—…whoops.

13. (7) Denver Nuggets (40-25): In the midst of an absolute freefall. Does anyone hate the teams they coach as consistently as George Karl?

14. (22) Charlotte Bobcats (28-35): The only lower-tier team in the East that actually looks like they want to make the playoffs — they deserve to be in the postseason more than Chicago, Milwaukee and New Jersey combined.

15. (15) Phoenix Suns (34-29): Shaq wants out, mostly because he prefers Twittering to running.

16. (17) Detroit Pistons (32-20): Probably better without Allen Iverson, but only marginally. Sheed is in the midst of the most pathetic contract year I’ve ever seen. He’s about done.

17. (19) Chicago Bulls (29-35): Man, the post-Jerry Krause era has been phenomenal, huh?

18. (26) Philadelphia 76ers (30-31): Samuel Dalembert’s having the worst career slide of any Haitian since Wyclef.

19. (20) Indiana Pacers (28-38): I could probably keep them at No. 20 the rest of the year without even checking the standings.

20. (24) New Jersey Nets (28-35): Tough schedule to end the season, and they only beat bad teams. Uh oh.

21. (16) New York Knicks (26-37): Unbelievable that they’re still in the playoff hunt, and they’re led by two exiled Warriors (Al Harrington and Larry Hughes) and a midget little person (Nate Robinson).

22. (18) Milwaukee Bucks (30-37): When Charlie Villanueva’s your go-to scorer, you aren’t a playoff team.

23. (23) Toronto Raptors (23-41): So much for the idea that Jose Calderon’s a franchise point guard.

24. (26) Oklahoma City Thunder (17-46): On kind of a roll before Kevin Durant’s ankle sprain.

25. (25): Golden State Warriors (21-42): Has anyone ever thought that maybe Chris Mullin has vanished because he’s getting major plastic surgery? He does live in Danville, you know.

26. (28) Sacramento Kings (14-50): Slamson’s a little taller!

27. (29) Washington Wizards (15-49): It seems like the Wizards have had the same centers since 1997.

28. (27) Memphis Grizzlies (16-46): The contraction countdown begins…

29. (30) Los Angeles Clippers (15-48): When you lose by 23 at home to the Grizzlies, you just might be tanking.

30. (21) Minnesota Timberwolves (18-45): 1-12 since losing Al Jefferson, including 10 straight losses.

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